It’s a Wednesday night, and I’m sitting in a living room with weed elite: the Cannabitch herself, SDM Content Strategist Jackie Bryant. As someone who wants to loosen the grip of alcohol—and has lived with anxiety for over 20 years—I realized that perhaps it’s time I tried being “California Sober.”

Last week, after posting my second installment of this Dry January series to my personal Instagram, I began having a mild panic attack. I was terrified, scared of offending people. I was worried about betraying trusts and being seen as a poser—that sharing my struggles will show that I’m not dedicated or equipped enough to really go for full, month-long sobriety.

I felt weak. I felt ashamed. I felt thirsty.

My anxiety led me to Bottlecraft in North Park, where I ordered a glass of Field Recordings’ skin-contact blend. This glass is “strike three” in my month-long quest at teetotaling. I’m immediately disappointed but relieved. It did the trick at quelling my thoughts, even one sip in. But I can’t rely on alcohol to save me from my fears. That’s the whole point of this experiment. I need to make changes in myself that will lead to changes in my relationship with alcohol.

Today, I’m staring at a can of Wynk, a THC- and CBD-infused seltzer that brands itself as the “still-social way to stay technically dry” and wondering if this could be my path forward, away from alcohol. The brand comes in 2.5 mg or 5 mg doses inside a 12-fluid ounce can. Each has an onset time of 10 to 15 minutes. 

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Honestly, I’ve always thought of being California sober as cheating. How can one drug be allowed while the other can’t, and you still get to call yourself “sober?” It was a conundrum that made me a little judgmental, but I’m not a smoker. Despite growing up in Maui, the wowie never caught my attention. We all have our vices, and mine just wasn’t weed. But because of my lack of interest, I’m curious if this will be less tempting and remain an occasional activity, rather than a more compulsive one. It’s a lateral move, sure, but one that, as of now, I’m less apt to crave. Let’s just say, I don’t think I’ll be subscribing to High Times anytime soon.

“If being California sober is the thing that’s going to keep you safe and keep you alive, why not, right?,” says Dr. Katarina Thatcher of Monima Wellness Center, which values harm reduction for people who struggle with substance use. “But it’s also, once again, coming from the idea of: It’s not the substance that’s the issue. It’s your relationship with the substance that then becomes the issue, right?”

That’s where I’m at. It’s not the alcohol that’s the problem per se, it’s my savior complex that keeps bringing me back to it; thinking that it’s the only antidote for my anxiety. In these last two weeks of not really drinking, I’ve seen a noticeable difference in my concentration and overall ambition. Drinking less has let me see how much time I’ve wasted—and, thankfully, how much time I still have left to devote to myself and my future.

My relationships have been richer and more honest. Even my editors have noticed my writing becoming stronger. We all know there are benefits to not drinking, but experiencing them and having to reflect on them in real time has taught me that this substance is holding me back from becoming the person I was truly meant to become.

“Behaviorally, I think there’s almost no comparison, and there are medical studies that back that up,” Jackie tells me as I share with her my concerns about trading one intoxicating substance for another. “The way that alcohol and THC manifest in my own body and my own behavior are completely different, and I think that’s a fairly universal truth because they are chemically different intoxicants. Stereotypes are what they are for a reason, and the stereotypes of being drunk and behaving wildly versus being super stoned and more relaxed tend to bear out in real life. Both substances lower your inhibitions, but for different reasons and in different ways with different outcomes.”

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Dr. Thatcher’s words echoed in my head all week as I reflected on my desire to drink. So, to knock me off my high horse and keep me away from the perils of consumption, I decided to delve into the Cali sober way, which means trading in weed in lieu of alcohol when those anxious cravings come—and hopefully use this alternative to wean my knee-jerk reaction to “need” something to curb the anxiety entirely.

Gummies sound fun, but I still love the act of drinking and all its social tie-ins, so I opted for a beverage. Founded by CEO Angus Rittenburg, Wynk launched in 2021 with a mission to help change the landscape of drinking and wellness in general. “People are so in tune with their health now,” Rittenburg says. “I think it’s revealing a lot about alcohol consumption that is scaring people, and for a lot of the sort of negative impacts of alcohol that you’re sacrificing to get that social buzz. These THC-infused beverages can fill that void without all of those downsides, but particularly calories and damage to your body—[THC] is not a poison.”

I opt for the 5 mg can to see how it might affect my virgin palate. My friend slyly grins as I crack open the can. I set a timer for 10 minutes. Here we go…

It creeps up on you, but subtly. The flavor is the biggest wow factor—it doesn’t taste at all like weed. While it’s not quite capturing the “juicy mango” flavor it’s purported to have, there’s a tinge of La Croix–like fruitiness amongst a robust mousse of bubbles that help mimic the feel of a White Claw or a soda-based cocktail. Basically, it goes down easily. 

Fifteen minutes in and I’m feeling very relaxed. I’m glued to the TV and the ottoman that’s holding me up. I try to make a comment about the movie we’re watching, and when I can’t back it up with facts, anecdotal evidence, or logic, I realize I am stoned. Jackie calls me out. “Stony baloney!” she crows.

But, after the movie is over, so is my high. This was the perfect mellowing out that I needed. “So, with a 2.5 mg drink, we could have one and be ourselves … or we could have six and, just like alcohol, you could build the experience you wanted,” Rittenburg explains.

I realize I am a lightweight, but much like alcohol, one builds a tolerance. For now, I’ll stick with one 5 mg can to achieve my ideal chill. Unfortunately, Wynk is only available online in California (no retail locations as of yet, thanks to state regulations), so I’ll have to stock up to have one on hand for the occasional party or dinnertime wind-down instead of a bottle of wine.

Jackie texts me the morning after. “How do you feel?” she asks. Honestly, I feel great. I haven’t slept that well in ages and I was up-and-at-’em enough to do a morning workout, which is a marked difference from the sluggish lie-in that I usually have after a night of drinking. She presses me for more info: “Are you going to stick with it? Are you going to cut back for good?”

Those questions linger in my head all day long as I navigate social gatherings, time with family, and my own anxieties. This has certainly opened my eyes to other options that make for a seamless alternative to drinking, without any of the side-effects that come with it. Will I be exclusively Cali Sober? Doubtful. But I do have one more tool in my arsenal to avoid the pitfalls of maladaptive behavior, which could unintentionally lead to dependence. 

My excursion in weed has taught me that I don’t revere substances. I revere calm. I seek peace. I want to trust myself, in my pure, unadulterated form—because, from what I’ve been told by family and friends, that woman is downright wonderful. But it’s really, really hard for me to do. I want to love myself without any help. Maybe this Cali Sober experience is the training wheels I need to get me there.

The post Dry January: Going Cali Sober appeared first on San Diego Magazine.

Few books have stood the test of time the way House on Mango Street has. Written in the voice of a young girl, the story chronicles the life of Esperanza Cordero, a 12-year-old Mexican-American preteen who is trying to find how she fits into her neighborhood, her school, her family, and her world.

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Forty years after its first printing, the book is still popular around the world. Of course, getting banned in some communities is any book’s best publicity. The themes in Mango Street have been deemed as too mature for certain regions and age groups. Still, Los Angeles public schools are using it as their common read for students this year, and schools throughout San Diego use it regularly in their classes. It has also been made into an opera.

While Cisneros has continued to write novels and stories—as well as several collections of witty, insightful, lyrical poetry—she is still best known for her first novel, Mango Street. We caught up with the author to ask five questions before the event.

House on Mango Street is still huge, especially here in Southern California. Does the significance of this book surprise you? And of all the books you have written, which one would you have thought would have this kind of popularity?

I expected Caramelo would have resonance with the public, especially after laboring on it for almost a decade. I think it’s a stronger book than my first novel. It will garner its audience eventually, I’m certain, perhaps not in my lifetime.

What are you reading these days?

I am reading a biography of Jane Austen and a biography of Tolstoy, both because I’m rereading their novels. And I’m reading The Gift Horse by Hildegarde Kneff, Twelve Patients Life and Death at Bellevue Hospital (The Inspiration for the NBC Drama New Amsterdam) by Eric Manheimer, MD, and a biography of the mystic painter Hilma Af Klint. And Pema Chodren’s How We Live is How We Die. Oh, and RuPaul’s most recent memoir on audio.

Is there a book or poem by someone else that you tend to return to over and over?

I often return to the same books as the mood strikes. For me they are Merce Rodoreda’s novel Plaza Del Diamante for inspiration. Or the stories of Hans Christian Andersen for the same reason. Or Eduardo Galeano’s, especially El Libro de Abrazos. I’m a big fan of the stories of Tennessee Williams and Christopher Isherwood. And I like to read poetry that makes me feel like writing poetry. That could be the greats like Emily Dickenson, or Rumi, or Cavafy, or my contemporaries like Martín Espada, Jan Beatty, Ámbar Past, Joy Harjo.

January 17, 2025

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Is there a book or poem of yours that best accomplished what you set out to do, or do all of them do that?

I don’t think a book or a poem could manage all that weight, do you? I try with each book to do something that will exceed my last. I am on a trajectory of self-awareness and craft that perhaps only I am aware of. Of late, I would say I am proudest of my adaptation of House as an opera, a collaboration with composer Derek Bermel. That has pleased and stretched me greatly.

Have you spent much time in San Diego? If so, what do you like to do here? If not, what sounds appealing?

I don’t know San Diego. I think I have only been there once or twice in my life, and only briefly as my destination was across the border for conferences. The only thing I know about San Diego is that RuPaul was born there, and I find that amusing and fascinating.

Click here for tickets and more information on the Symposium.

The post The Writer’s Symposium By The Sea Returns Feb. 26–28 appeared first on San Diego Magazine.

Food & Drink | Concerts & Festivals | Theater & Art Exhibits | More Fun Things to Do

Food & Drink Events in San Diego This Weekend

Georges at the Cove’s Inaugural WhistlePig Beefsteak Dinner 

January 24

Georges at the Cove welcomes local guest chefs Mike Reidy from The Fishery and Nine-Ten executive chef Jason Knibb for its first-ever WhistlePig Beefsteak Dinner this Friday at 6 p.m. Perched at communal banquet table seating, patrons will enjoy a family-style meal with a seafood appetizer, salad, multiple cuts of meat, sides, and dessert. Tickets to this dinner are $220 and include food, two cocktails, and three one-ounce pours of WhistlePig whiskies. 

1250 Prospect Street, La Jolla

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Pure Project Ninth Anniversary Party: Crops & Hops

January 25

This Saturday at Pure Project’s flagship taproom in Miramar, the brewery is hosting a ninth anniversary shindig with games, bands, food trucks, and many, many beers from 1 to 5 p.m. General admission ($42) tickets for this hoppy birthday celebration come with six drink tokens, a limited-edition ninth anniversary glass, and an included $1 donation to Coastal Roots Farm. Book a VIP ticket ($71) to access an exclusive tap list from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. 

9030 Kenamar Drive, Miramar 

Bartend for a Cause at Oxford Social Club

January 25

San Diegans are invited to fundraise for their neighbors to the north at Oxford Social Club’s Bartend for a Cause fundraiser this Saturday. A portion of the event proceeds will go towards the California Fire Foundation and Direct Relief as they assist victims of the ongoing wildfires in the LA County region. The night will include music from DJ Crooked, guest bartenders crafting signature drinks, and a special Hennessy VSOP cocktail on the menu. There will also be a donation box set up for guests to directly donate to the featured organizations. 

435 Fifth Avenue, Gaslamp

San Diego Restaurant Week

January 26–February 2

San Diego Restaurant Week returns this Sunday for eight days of dining out on the town. The California Restaurant Association has assembled a comprehensive list of potential eats—more than 100 restaurants in dozens of neighborhoods are offering multi-course menus beginning at $30. You can sign up for SDRW’s Eight Days of Dining contest for the chance to indulge in dinner for two at eight local restaurants. 

Citywide 

Concerts & Festivals in San Diego This Weekend

Lettuce + GZA at The Sound

January 22

The legendary Wu-Tang Clan’s GZA will deliver a performance of his landmark 1995 album Liquid Swords in honor of the record’s 30th anniversary. Backed by funk sextet Lettuce, GZA appears at The Sound this Wednesday, with tickets starting at $56. 

2260 Jimmy Durante Boulevard, Del Mar

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Marley Fest San Diego at The Holding Company

January 24

Roots Reggae pioneer Johnny Clarke will headline the lineup for Marley Fest San Diego, a 21-plus musical tribute to the genre’s revered hero at The Holding Company this Friday night. Fans can expect reggae performances from the Fully Fullwood Band, GONZO, Ocean Natives, Dukes of Roots, and more. Doors open at 5 p.m. for the festival (and the venue’s happy hour runs til 6 p.m.). Tickets are $38 for general admission and $107 for a VIP table seat. 

5046 Newport Avenue, Ocean Beach

San Diego Lunar New Year Festival

January 24–26

Kick off the year of the wood snake at the free San Diego Lunar New Year Festival this weekend at Officer Jeremy Henwood Memorial Park. Highlights include a massive wall of lanterns, lion and dragon dances, an adult soccer tournament, live performances, and 20 food vendors, along with contests for pho-eating, boba-drinking, and dumpling-wrapping. 

4455 Wightman Street, City Heights

Theater & Art Exhibits in San Diego This Weekend

Barbecue at Coronado Playhouse

Through February 2

Directed by Kimberly King, Barbecue revolves around the O’Mallerys’ attempts to convince a troubled family member to check into rehab during a family get-together. See the show Thursday through Saturday at 8 p.m. and Saturdays and Sundays at 2 p.m.. Tickets are $27. 

1835 Strand Way, Coronado

Stitched and Forged: The Art of Kelly Whitmer and Mônica Lóss at OMA West

Through May 11

Curated by Natalie Gonzalez, Stitched and Forged brings Kelly Witmer’s orb-like ceramics and Mônica Lóss’s colorful, pillowy sculptures to the Oceanside Museum of Art’s annex gallery at The Seabird.

704 Pier View Way, Oceanside

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An Evening with Fran Lebowitz at Balboa Theatre

January 23

Fran Lebowitz—writer, cultural critic, and the walking, talking human embodiment of New York City—won’t need much prompting to say what’s on her mind at the Balboa Theatre this Thursday at 7:30 p.m. Part of UC San Diego’s ArtPower Series, An Evening with Fran Lebowitz provides guests the chance to hear from a master of commentary on art, style, and modern life. Tickets start at $52 for this event, and admission is free for UCSD students. 

868 Fourth Avenue, Gaslamp

Beyond Prison Walls at Conrad Prebys Theatre

January 23-25

San Diego State theater students bring the work of incarcerated writers to life with the 13th season of Beyond Prison Walls at the Conrad Prebys Theatre. This collaboration between Playwrights Project and SDSU features scripts from playwrights at Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility and Centinela State Prison. Students will direct and perform six short plays Friday through Saturday, with shows followed by a conversation with artists, program alumni, and reps from the participating correctional facilities. Reserve your free spot here. 

5500 Campanile Drive, College Area 

Graham100: The 100th Anniversary of the Martha Graham Dance Company at Civic Theatre

January 25

Renowned architects of modern dance and choreographed movement, the Martha Graham Dance Company is celebrating a century of performing arts with a special program at the Civic Theatre on Saturday night. The show will feature Graham’s beloved ballet Appalachian Spring and two newer pieces crafted by contemporary choreographers. The event will begin with a prelude interview hosted by Malashock Dance Executive Director Molly Puryear at 6:30 p.m. Tickets range from $37 balcony seats to $116 spots in the front orchestra. 

1100 Third Avenue, Gaslamp 

Brand New National Group Show at Level of Service Not Required

January 25–March 1 

Explore work from an array of artists across several disciplines—including photography, video, and pottery—in Brand New, a group exhibition at La Jolla gallery Level of Service Not Required (LOS/NR). This Saturday from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., stop by the show’s free opening reception to see the art and nab complimentary flowers and ice cream (while supplies last). LOS/NR is open Tuesday through Saturday from noon to 4 p.m. and by appointment. 

7910 Ivanhoe Avenue, La Jolla

More Fun Things to Do in San Diego This Weekend

Farmers Insurance Open

January 22–25

The West Coast Swing of the PGA Tour makes its way to Torrey Pines for the Farmers Insurance Open. The 2021 Masters Tournament champ Hideki Matsuyama and rising star Ludvig Aberg arrive as the odds-on favorites to win this year’s tournament. Grounds tickets, which come with general access to the Farmers Insurance Open and public attractions along the course, are currently $65 for full field days, $75 for Friday, and $85 for Saturday. There are also a handful of VIP experiences which offer all-inclusive food and drinks with seating perched next to the action. 

11480 North Torrey Pines Road, La Jolla

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Disney on Ice: Magic in the Stars at Pechanga Arena 

January 24–26

See Mickey, Minnie, and animated characters from Disney Pixar films strap on their skates at Disney on Ice: Magic in the Stars. There will be two performances each day this Friday through Sunday at Pechanga Arena, with tickets ranging from $32 to $142. There is also a pre-show character experience add-on ($76) for kids ages 2 and up that includes photo opportunities with Elsa and Mirabel. 

3500 Sports Arena Boulevard, Midway

The Koi Club of San Diego’s 35th Annual Koi Show at Del Mar Fairgrounds

January 25–26

See hundreds of beautiful koi fish at The Koi Club of San Diego’s free annual showcase at Del Mar Fairgrounds from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday and 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Sunday. The event includes a koi auction, a judged koi competition, family-friendly activities, and a vendor market with koi-themed art, shirts, and supplies. 

2260 Jimmy Durante Boulevard, Del Mar

The post 16 Things to Do in San Diego This Weekend: January 22–26 appeared first on San Diego Magazine.

Dinner with a View

There’s no shortage of oceanfront dining in San Diego, but a Valentine’s meal deserves an extra-special setting. For a classic La Jolla sunset, head to George’s at the Cove. Prefer a hip rooftop vibe with Italian fare and Aperol spritzes? Garibaldi is your spot. And for a unique experience, book a table at Tom Ham’s Lighthouse for waterfront dining with a touch of novelty.

Balboa Park

Balboa Park is chock-full of date possibilities, thanks to its wide variety of museums, gardens, and dining options. Learn something new together at the Nat, take a romantic stroll through the Japanese Friendship Garden, or simply lay out a picnic on one of the park’s relaxing grassy knolls.

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South Bay Drive-In

All those teens in the 1950s can’t have been wrong: There’s something quite intimate about a drive-in movie theater. South Bay Drive-In shows up to six flicks on three screens, seven days a week. Cuddling up in the comfort of your own car while watching a story unfold is a classic date activity that has stood the test of time.  

Belmont Park

Up the adrenaline next date night with a trip to Belmont Park. The iconic Mission Beach amusement park is packed with heart-pounding thrill rides (which science says can turn up the heat in your relationship), plus fair games where you can charm your cutie by winning them a prize.

Get Artsy Together

This Valentine’s Day, channel your inner Patrick Swayze and create something meaningful (and messy) with your partner. Instead of the predictable paint-and-sip classes, opt for a hands-on pottery class at Pinch Pottery Studio downtown. This special Valentine’s Day class is $150 and will leave you each with a handmade piece to cherish as a keepsake.

Wine & Dine

Nothing says romance like a good wine and charcuterie pairing. The Rose in South Park is an adorable spot for sipping cabernet while nibbling on meats, cheeses, and breads from Secret Sister Bakery. Afterward, stroll through the charming streets of South Park for a perfect end to the evening. Want more wine bar inspiration? We’ve got you covered here.

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Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve

Are you and your honey outdoorsy? Then Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve may be right up your alley. The expansive reserve offers breathtaking environs, multiple trails to explore, and access to Torrey Pines State Beach.

Farmers Market

You can find an abundance of farmers markets across the city almost any day of the week. They’re a great place to wander hand-and-hand, scoping local produce and buying ingredients to make a fun, fresh lunch together after. 

Liberty Station

Whether it’s a first date or your weekly couples night, the romantic outing options at Liberty Station are endless. You can enjoy a luxury cinema experience at The Lot or have a friendly mini golf competition at Tapper Mini Golf. Round out the evening with dinner at Liberty Public Market.

Indulge in a Spa Day

Treat yourselves this Valentine’s Day with a couples massage at one of San Diego’s most luxurious spas. The Spa at Fairmont Grand Del Mar offers a decadent Restorative Couples Massage for $930, complete with a mineral-rich bath, moisture wrap, and foot massage. Your skin—and your special someone—will thank you.

Take the Leap

Besides marriage, paragliding might just be the ultimate declaration of love. Soar side-by-side from the Torrey Pines Gliderport, where professional instructors will guide you on a tandem flight over La Jolla’s stunning coastline. It’s the perfect mix of adrenaline and awe for you and your adrenaline-seeking partner. Flights start at $200—commitment optional.

Coin Haus

If your date night takes you to East County, pop by Coin Haus in La Mesa. The arcade bar features self-serve taps and retro games, making it perfect for a cool and nostalgic outing. You can also team up with your main squeeze or double-date with friends at Coin Haus’ weekly trivia night.

Rooftop Cinema Club

A trip to the movies is a quintessential date night activity. Take it to the next level with Rooftop Cinema Club, an open-air experience at the Manchester Grand Hyatt featuring new flicks and older classics. The city views, theater snacks, and personal headphones offer a more immersive viewing opportunity.

Have a Bougie Picnic

Elevate your picnic game with a touch of luxury. If your charcuterie skills are a little lackluster, let the pros at San Diego Picnics handle it. They’ll craft an Insta-worthy glamp for you and your boo in picturesque spots like Sunset Cliffs, Mission Bay, or Kate Sessions Park. Ready to take things to the next level? Opt for their proposal package and pop the question.

Kayaking in La Jolla 

If you really want to bond with your boo, try something adventurous that requires a little teamwork. Kayaking around the waters of La Jolla really fits that bill—plus, you’re likely to catch amazing views of sea lions and tiger sharks.

Sip and Stroll at a Winery

Skip the grocery store wine and taste varietals fresh from the vine. Bernardo Winery’s Valentine’s Day festivities, running February 12–16, feature live music, themed cuisine, and specialty drinks. Reserve a tasting or tour the 136-year-old vineyard for a date steeped in history—and wine.

Punch Bowl Social 

Gaslamp Quarter hotspot Punch Bowl Social is a great place to bring a date, as endless opportunities for fun are right at your fingertips. Cap off ten frames of bowling at Punch Bowl with a menu full of late-night bites, comfort food, and cocktails.

San Diego Zoo

At the San Diego Zoo, you and your date can spend hours peering at elephants, orangutans, and other fascinating creatures. For a new fling, it offers plenty of time to chat and get to know each other. For those in an established relationship, it’s a great place to spend quality time together and have some wholesome fun. 

The Pearl Hotel 

Let me grab my swimsuit probably isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you think “movie night”—unless, of course, you’re headed to The Pearl Hotel. The Point Loma lodging’s Wednesday Dive-In movie nights in the pool often include cult classics, as well as the opportunity to dine at the onsite restaurant.

Eco Boat Rentals

Tired of meeting for drinks? Try something new: Eco Boat Rentals in Point Loma offers great day and evening boating opportunities. I personally enjoyed taking their pedal boat for a ride during the afternoon, laughing along with my husband as we tried to keep our pedaling in sync. You can also check out their nighttime “glow ride” option to take in the lights of San Diego’s skyline from the water.

The post 20 Fun Valentine’s Day Ideas in San Diego appeared first on San Diego Magazine.

My insomnia began sometime after college and, over the years, has gone from being an annoying once-in-a-while occurrence to a beast I wrestle with every night. I’ve tried all the sleep hacks in the book—whatever you’re thinking, I’ve done it. 

Part of what keeps me up is my anxious mind full of “what ifs”—overthinking every interaction I’ve had since I could form a sentence. With anxiety also comes the need to control all the variables around me to ensure that none of my worries come true. Fear is in the unknown. 

Recently, a friend shared with me an article on New York Times best-selling author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins’ “let them theory.” Robbins argues that when you let people be themselves and stop trying to control them, you can learn how to stop giving your power to their opinions and behaviors. This, in turn, lessens the energy you expend on trying to make others do, say, act, or behave in the ways that you want them to—and thus minimizes your anxiety.

Basically, don’t stress about what you can’t control; focus on what you can. A mantra of radical acceptance. On a recent episode of motivational speaker Jay Shetty’s podcast, Robbins dug into the theory more deeply.

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“The single biggest benefit [of this theory] is that you get time and energy back,” she tells Shetty. “Once you start noticing all of these little moments all day long, it’s like a death by a thousand cuts. You want to know why you’re too tired, you want to know why you’re overwhelmed, you want to know why you’re stressed out, you want to know why you have no time for yourself—it’s because of the power you give to other people’s opinions, their emotions, their immature behavior.”

It felt like Robbins was talking directly to me, calling me out. This is where I’ve struggled in romantic relationships. I’ve learned that I have an anxious attachment style that stems from my childhood. This is characterized by a strong need for close relationships alongside a fear of rejection and abandonment. When these concerns are triggered, I feel an increased need for reassurance and validation from my partner, leading me to become overly preoccupied with my partner’s feelings. 

The first step is acknowledgment, right? I’m working on it.

“Every human being has a hardwired need to be in control of everything because being in control is what makes you feel safe,” Robbins says. “If you focus and try to manage things that are never going to be within your control, it only creates stress, anxiety, and frustration for you.”

As I listened, I thought of a situation I’d experienced with someone I was once dating. He’d told me he’d be going home for a week to deal with a personal family issue. But once he was gone, I found out he was actually away on a snowboarding trip with friends. He had lied.

My immediate reaction was hurt and confusion, followed by anger—I wanted to text him a paragraph (you know the one). I let it consume my thoughts for days, ultimately draining my energy and keeping me in a state of high anxiety. 

If I followed Robbins’ advice back then, it could have saved me from spiraling and maybe allowed me to sleep each night. “Let them.” Let him. He was showing me who he was and who he’d be in my life if we continued dating.

“Their behavior is telling you the truth,” Robbins says. “Their behavior is telling you what they care about and what their priorities are. If their behavior is telling you that your needs are not a priority, you have to let them reveal that. Because then you’re going to come back to the second part, which is [asking yourself], ‘Is this kind of behavior from somebody what I deserve? Is this what I’m willing to accept in somebody?’”

Of course, applying the theory doesn’t end there. Next, you have to take it upon yourself to explain to your potential or current partner what you need and the reason why it is important to you.

“If you’re in a committed, loving partnership and you’re with somebody who wants to do better and cares about you, it taps into their intrinsic motivation to build new skills,” Robbins says. “If you have that kind of conversation with somebody and you explain how their behavior impacts you—whether it’s their drinking or it’s their tone of voice or it’s the fact that they leave their stuff everywhere […]—you take responsibility.”

Now, you’ve let them be who they are; minimized your anxiety, worry, and need for control; and allowed them to show you if they are willing to respond in an emotionally mature way that prioritizes the relationship you’re building. If not, you have an answer and a decision to make without having to force them to be someone they aren’t ready or willing to be.

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And the theory isn’t only useful for people in established or official relationships. Applying it can also help you figure out more quickly if someone you’ve gone out with a few times has the potential to be a meaningful match.

“When you are in the stages of early relationship development, there can be a lot of misunderstandings and miscommunication,” Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, a tenured professor of sexual and relational communication at Cal State Fullerton, tells Refinery29. “People bring their past experiences, perceptions, and baggage into new relationships, making it difficult to predict their actions accurately. The ‘let them’ mindset works because it allows individuals to ease up on the control factor, navigate these uncertainties more gracefully, and focus on what is flourishing in their own life. When it’s not a compatible match, there is no need to waste time. If they treat you poorly, there is no need to try to justify their behaviors.” 

Let them. People will only change when they want to. He hasn’t texted you all day after saying he would? Let him. She continues to ignore your need for quality time and rarely makes an effort to spend time with you? Let her. Then, act.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. The more control we give up while trying to find the person we can build a life with, the less stress and anxiety we’ll have while dating. To be honest, this is not something I’ve done in my past—or something that is going to be easy for me to do in any situation in the future.

It’ll require work and self-awareness. Maybe if it’s out there in the world, maybe if I tell you, readers, then it’ll actually happen. (Accountability!) Because the quicker we are to let people reveal themselves, the quicker we can discern whether they’re right for us. 

If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here and follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week.

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The post Unhinged, A Dating Series: The Let Them Theory appeared first on San Diego Magazine.

His affection for Honma Golf is understandable. Clubs from the BERES line, with smooth metals dyed silver, gold, and red, look more like pieces of jewelry than they do sporting goods. It’s Moon’s job, as the company’s ecommerce and customer service manager, to sell those clubs, although that title doesn’t fully capture his role running Honma Golf’s three-person Carlsbad operation. 

Founded in Japan in 1959, the company developed a devout following, mostly in Asia, for its meticulously designed and unusually sophisticated golf clubs. They aren’t manufactured so much as they are crafted, but for decades that luxury went largely unnoticed in North America. In an effort to grow in Western markets, Honma Golf setup shop in Torrance in Los Angeles County, then Cyprus in Orange County. Finally, in 2019, the company landed in Carlsbad, known as the “golf equipment capital of the world.” 

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That may sound like a roadside oddity or an obscure Guinness World Record, but in Carlsbad the moniker is serious business. A block from Honma Golf is Titleist’s Carlsbad office. TaylorMade and Callaway are headquartered on the other side of Palomar Airport. That makes three of golf’s “Big Four” brands within two miles of each other, and you can’t swing a club without hitting dozens of smaller companies like Cobra and Honma. “It’s good to be in the mix with the big companies,” Moon says. “We’re not moving any time soon.” 

According to a report from the city’s economic development division, there are no less than 116 firms in the sports innovation and design industry cluster, which includes the city’s world-renowned golf equipment manufacturers. “We’re claiming over 2,300 employees in that sector, which is more than six times the national average,” says Bret Schanzenbach, president and CEO of the Carlsbad Chamber of Commerce. “It also generates good income—averaging $130,000 per employee per year in annual earnings.”

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Callaway and TaylorMade together earn over $5 billion annually, or about $5 for every golf ball the world manufactures in a year. And the story of selling golf balls is inextricably linked with the story of Carlsbad.

Long a farming town, Carlsbad didn’t incorporate until 1952. Its population as of the 1960 census was just over 9,000, and not many people outside of San Diego County had heard of the town until the La Costa Resort, opened in 1965, began hosting the PGA’s Tournament of Champions in 1969. A 34-year-old Gary Player, at the height of his legendary career, fended off the likes of Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, and Lee Trevino for the trophy that year.

“I believe it is the way courses should be set,” Player told The New York Times after his victory at La Costa, now known as the Omni La Costa Resort & Spa. “It’s as fine a course as I won on.” High praise from a man who had taken the crown at the British Open nine months prior. La Costa would go on to host the tournament for the next 30 years, and the city grew around it.

That’s due in large part to Ely Callaway and Gary Adams. A textiles executive from Georgia, Callaway brought his fledgling golf club company to Carlsbad in 1983. A year later, Adams came to town with TaylorMade, a company he started in Illinois that had some success hawking “metalwoods,” a departure from the traditional all-wood sets. 

In 1991, Callaway took the novel idea a step further and invented the Big Bertha driver, the first made entirely of stainless steel. The club head was massive yet light in the hand. It felt like the future, because it was. The story of golf—and Carlsbad—became centered around engineering, research and development, and technological advances. It mirrored the digital revolution rooted in Northern California. The Bay Area had Silicon Valley. Carlsbad had Titanium Valley. Honma Golf resides on Innovation Way. 

“If you’re a golf company, do you want to be based in Illinois, or are you going to go to a place like California where you can golf year round?” Schanzenbach says. Carlsbad has “infrastructure, plus the weather, plus the quality of life, and the ability to bring in top [golf] professionals to your facility to test out your equipment,” he adds. “You want to bring them to a place where, afterwards, you can go out to a really nice course with beautiful weather and treat them.” 

But the local industry has hit the rough in recent years. According to the city, employment in the sector declined 16.3 percent between 2018 and 2020, a trend that started back in 2013, despite overall golf participation being up 30 percent since 2016, according to the National Golf Foundation. While the weather in Carlsbad is still perfect, some of the factors that fueled its explosive growth, especially cheap land and plentiful labor, are today tilting against it.

“Coming out of Covid, one of the biggest things we were hearing from our membership was the challenge with finding and then retaining talent for their companies,” Schanzenbach says. “I know TaylorMade has done a good job with it. But [for] the middle-tier companies, it’s hard.”

Honma Golf felt this firsthand.

PGA tour pro Justin Rose signed with the company in early 2019, and a few weeks later, he won the Farmers Insurance Open in San Diego. Honma was finally making inroads in the US, then Covid hit. “All the momentum stopped,” Moon says. 

Sales slumped, then the company struggled with staff turnover and recruiting executive and marketing teams to achieve its goals in North America. The realities of high costs, intense competition, and hiring challenges set in, but Honma Golf is undeterred. By reorganizing its marketing team and refocusing on its core market segment of golfers interested in premium clubs, the company feels there are better days ahead. “2025 is going to be a good year,” Moon predicts.

It’s a retrenchment not unlike Callaway Golf’s. In September, the company announced it was spinning off Topgolf, the chain of entertainment-focused driving ranges it acquired just four years earlier. The company wants to focus on its traditional golf equipment and apparel business, the one based in Carlsbad—the one that helped make Carlsbad. 

After Covid’s industry-wide disruptions, the future of the local golf manufacturing industry is coming into focus. So far, it looks a lot like the first 40 years: You can’t play golf without Carlsbad.

The post How Carlsbad Became the Golf Equipment Capital of the World appeared first on San Diego Magazine.

These two didn’t just inherit a legacy—they’ve lived it. 

Colt has been Spin’s general manager for over a decade and has 20 years of nightlife experience, previously working at iconic Gaslamp Quarter venues, including Olé Madrid, Belō, The Ivy Hotel, and Voyeur. Garva is a DJ who runs United By Bass Recordings and United By Bass Talent Agency and is the co-founder of United By Bass, which runs SD Union, San Diego’s longest-running Drum n’ Bass music night. Together, they bring decades of nightlife expertise and community ties along with loudspeaker designer and sound engineer, Chris Regalado. 

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Spin’s transition into their hands is significant because it puts the club back in the care of people who know its history, understand its culture, and have big plans for its future. It’s not just a venue takeover; it’s a reclamation of Spin’s underground roots, committed to revitalizing its iconic after-hours vibe, elevating its production, and preserving its place as a haven for San Diego’s diverse dance music scene. 

Though the club has been open and bumping since the duo purchased it last August, they’re having a celebratory weekend beginning January 16, called “Spin: Remixed,” which revelers can think of as a grand re-opening party. Four nights of special DJ sets will run into early Monday morning through the entire weekend. We caught up with Colt and Garva to learn more about Spin’s exciting changes.

What’s the history of Spin Nightclub, why does it matter to San Diego, and why is it a big deal that it’s still open?

Brandon Colt (BC): The building that now holds Spin Nightclub was built in 1991 and is one of the only clubs explicitly created to be a club. It drew inspiration from venues in New York and Miami. It has changed names a few times, but before it became Spin in 2007, it was Montage, one of the best gay clubs in the country. If only these walls could talk—a lot of nightlife history has happened here. 

One of Montage’s owners partnered with a new team to start Spin, and they promoted Giant Fridays, which brought in the biggest DJs San Diego had ever seen at the time, including Armin van Buuren. At the time, there wasn’t any underground electronic music downtown, only Top 40. Things were going well, but like in any business, things shifted. The original owners went their separate ways, and the person left running the club was new to owning a nightclub.

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I joined the team soon after in 2014. I saw the club didn’t have any real direction, so I asked the owners if I could run it and started creating what I thought would be a cool club. I saw an opportunity to make a space for the people who were putting their hearts into dance music culture in San Diego. 

Spin grew into this hub where promoters and crews could grow, including SD Union, Desert Hearts, House 2 Ourselves, Ego Trip, Overdrive, Kino Village, Dangle Zone, and Soul Work. Production became essential to what we did, and we saw everyone’s visions come to life. To host those nights and see all the genres that came through reminded me of the underground warehouse raves I used to go to in the ’90s, and it just felt right. 

We’ve always wanted everyone to be represented here—all genres, including the LGBTQ+ community, goth night, hip hop, Brazilian, Burning Man camps, and more. Spin Nightclub has long been a space where people want to experience dance music culture, and it has a reputation as a place for after-hours. 

We were on a pretty awesome trajectory, and then Covid-19 hit. We were closed for 15 months, and once we reopened, things were back like before until we lost our after-hours license in 2023. We were as successful as possible closing at 2 a.m., but it wasn’t the same. In August 2024, Garva and I officially took ownership of Spin, and we are all in on a shared vision to bring Spin to the level it should be.

Brandon Garva (BG): What makes this change so exciting is the merger of passion and experience we’re bringing to the table. For the first time at Spin, you’ve got a team with two decades of experience in event production and promotion and a clear vision for what Spin can be. We’re fully dedicated to helping the scene thrive, and it’s the perfect storm—knowing how to properly curate events, deliver solid production, run the club right, and most importantly, give people what they want: a safe place to experience music, create bonds and make memories.

Especially with the shifts happening in the industry, Spin is carving out something totally unique. Colt and I started as ravers back in high school, and we’ve never lost that passion. That underground vibe is rare these days, but having a venue like Spin that cultivates and provides that for the city is something really special. We’re returning to the roots—giving people raw, authentic dance culture in a safe environment.

I’ve heard nightlife is dead. Secretly, I’ve hoped that’s not true, but what’s the vibe these days? What has changed, what’s on the horizon?

BC: Nightlife just needs creativity, passion, value, and most importantly, community. When venues struggle, it’s often because they’re missing those things. We’re focused on creating something more than just a place to see an artist. We offer multiple headliners, multiple rooms, and a community that values the freedom of self expression and an alternative to the mainstream.

So many people have amazing memories here, and we want to keep that alive. Spin has always been a place where people feel comfortable and safe, a spot they want to spend what precious free time they have on weekend nights. The culture has always been here—it’s just been overshadowed by a lack of vision and commitment under previous ownership.

Now, we’re making things right by upgrading lighting, sound, and facilities—bringing it all up to a level Spin has never seen before. It’s not about creating a new culture; it’s about honoring the one that’s been here all along. The community has stuck with us through a lot. We’re doing this out of respect for that dedication, to give back to a community we care so deeply about so they want to return and make more memories.

Who are the new owners? Tell me about this popular drum and bass crew, SD Union?

BG: I threw multi-genre events in North San Diego County from 2005 to 2010 under the name Schedule One Media and then partnered with Tyler Rosier right after the formation of SD Union in 2010. In 2014, we had an issue pop up with a venue where we were scheduled to throw an event, and a friend linked us up with Spin, who offered to help by hosting the event. The day of the event, I met Colt, who was working behind the bar, and we all hit it off. Since then, we have hosted most of our SD Union events at Spin.

Throwing our shows at Spin was a turning point for SD Union. Spin was a much larger venue than we’d previously had, and we had the creative freedom to expand our productions tenfold. From there, our brand grew on all fronts. This December, we celebrated 14 years of SD Union, and we’re so grateful to Spin for giving us the platform to grow, as well as everyone who has supported us over the years and helped make SD Union what it is today.

BC: Garva and I are in the community. We’re not just making this a club for dance music people; we are the dance music people. The owners and the whole team we have attracted care so much about this business. Everybody on our team loves this industry and the club, and it’s really cool to be working with people passionate about the vision and goal. 

Tell me more about these afters. What are the parameters?

BG: Spin has long been the go-to destination for after-hours in San Diego, legendary for its 4 a.m. dance floor and unforgettable weekend-long marathons during Pride. In 2023, we could not host after-hours anymore, but this November, we proudly brought back our first 4 a.m. show. The response has been incredible. The excitement and support from the community have been overwhelming, and we’re thrilled to announce that more late-night events are on the horizon for 2025.

Tell us about the sound. 

BC: We’re completely revamping our sound system, working with an in-house, world-class audio engineer to create a custom setup that is as satisfying as it is immersive. 

Chris Regalado (CR): In the main room, we’re creating a new system and have added support speakers around the dancefloor, VIP areas, and mezzanine, which have allowed us to provide a much better and more immersive experience to guests and we have plans to add even more to make it more dynamic. 

We have new subwoofers designed from scratch with help from several engineers who have created a new hybrid bass reflex/transmission line. The goal is to achieve low bass and accurate mid-bass. Woofers share one cabinet but are powered and processed separately. This allows for the summation of the best attributes and proper delays to be set. We’re also upgrading the rooftop and side room, which we’re excited about.

Tell us about the Spin: Remixed, the big celebration weekend: What can we expect and how can people get involved?

BG: This is our declaration to the world that Spin is under new leadership, management, and ownership. We’re setting the tone for what you can expect: a community-focused space with a renewed commitment to dance music and culture.

To mark this new chapter, we’re hosting Spin: Remixed four days in one weekend to celebrate the change in leadership and highlight the ongoing improvements, including to the venue and introducing two new event series: Spin Thursdays and Spindustry. 

For Spin Thursdays, we will highlight a different genre of electronic music each week. The intention behind this night is to allow the up-and-comers to play and to bring more music variety to San Diego. There are a lot of cookie-cutter clubs and events playing the same tracks over and over. This is about supporting the whole culture and giving new sounds and styles space. On Thursday, January 16, we will focus on techno with a lineup of ZESTi, JAQ.XS, Luna Michelle and A.Knives. 

On Friday, January 17, we’ll celebrate with the next installment of SD Union, San Diego’s longest-running drum and bass night, with a triple headliner lineup: Document One, T & Sugah and Whiney. This night will be extra special because SD Union has considered Spin our home for the past decade, and we really found momentum when we started working with Colt to host our shows at Spin Nightclub. 

On Saturday, January 18, we’re hosting a huge family affair. This will be the main event where we pay homage to the individuals and promoters who have grown alongside Spin. We’ll be going until 4 a.m. with a lineup of local legends playing back-to-back sets, including Memo Rex and Sprout, Oren and Techno Tupac, Mitch Dodge and Susio, Nik Thrine and H2H, and Cole Vassallo and Layerz, among others.

Last, Sunday is special to us because we’re introducing Spin’s first industry night, Spindustry, a monthly Sunday event. We want to create a night for the people who work their asses off and help give others a good time. This is where they can let loose and be shown appreciation through attractive ticket and drink prices. Our first show on Sunday, January 19, will feature Tara Brooks, Porky, DJ Ideal, and Evlo.

The post Spin Nightclub Enters a New Era Under Local Nightlife Legends appeared first on San Diego Magazine.

Modest for the secluded and high-dollar neighborhood of Rancho Santa Fe, the 2,000-square-foot, white, mid-century ranch house has a separate guest home and a hillside perch offering breathtaking views of a private bocce court, eucalyptus groves, and towering live oaks. But before it became a comfortable retreat for Clasen and her family when they’re not in Newport Beach, the home required some sweat equity. 

“We refreshed it on a major budget, replacing only plumbing, counters, and flooring and cleaning up the rest with a fresh coat of paint,” Clasen says. 

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Budget or not, the home is a living representation of Clasen’s distinctive design approach. Functional and quietly chic, her aesthetic choices reflect her ever-firing brain, with a bright, airy style oriented toward an active yet relaxed lifestyle (she also designed Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch complex and penned the 2024 design book Surf Style at Home). 

She loves typography art and admits she “totally forces” her clients into embracing it. “Every project, I’ve tried to stuff those down on my clients,” Clasen laughs. “Sometimes they’re like, ‘I don’t want one word! Don’t even bring it up!’ But I love how it plays out, and I try to sneak it in there and, usually, they see the vision. I love how symmetric lettering is.”

It’s everywhere in her own home and guest house, which are decorated in modern style. The focal point of the property is the open living/dining/sitting room, which occupies the space between the north and east walls of the home, featuring floor-to-ceiling glass sliding doors; high, white-painted, wood-beam ceilings; and a variety of gathering spaces. A couch near the white-painted brick fireplace gives way to a nook overlooking the backyard, directly adjacent to a large dining table in front of the kitchen counter, which is lined with barstools. Flanking the dining room are original cabinets that Clasen painted olive green.

“I know it’s considered a sin in original modern homes to paint the wood and brick,” Clasen says. “But they weren’t in great shape and had to be trashed or painted. I think it’s better this way.” 

She and her husband take their coffee in the nook most mornings, watching the deer go by. Then, her husband and sons “usually go surfing down at Del Mar 26th Street,” she adds, while she relaxes and gets work done. 

Her family and friends usually end their days in that space, typically with a few drinks. “We’ve fit 20 people in this spot, dancing the night away!” Clasen says. Surf style, indeed.

The post The Designer of Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch Takes Us Inside Her Home appeared first on San Diego Magazine.

People touch your life for brief moments, with varying degrees of intensity—and sometimes the short-lived ones hit the hardest. Strangers morph into best friends. Lovers fade to strangers. Friends move on with the demands of their opposing lifestyle. Or they die from it. 

I recently found out a new friend had passed at the age of 42 after checking himself into rehab. He was my age. I listened to the voicemail he sent me on December 26. I’ll get back to him soon. I’m traveling. I’m busy. But here I sit with a ghost trapped in my phone, a constant reminder of my shortcomings as a friend; for not calling him back and, really, for not telling him to stop.

I didn’t cry—I’m not sure why—but I was heartbroken for his friends and the community he had built. As I grieve him, his loss is serving as a reminder to love and take care of myself. 

And that’s what my Dry January is all about.

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Then comes January 8. I was feeling so proud that I had spent a whole week without alcohol for the first time in quite a while. I was waking up early. I was tackling my tasks with gusto. I had so much time to devote to myself and my new routine. But my pride was paused when I found out about the severity of the Palisades and Eaton fires. 

I lived in Los Angeles for nearly 20 years before my move to San Diego, from a freshman in college at Malibu’s Pepperdine University to becoming a bona fide adult attempting to live out her dreams in northeast LA’s Highland Park, just southwest of Altadena. My heart is utterly shattered for my former home, my friends who have lost it all, and the city’s history that has been scorched. This ache for Angelenos is compounded by the fact that Lahaina is my hometown. I’ve been through this before.

Anybody else need a drink?

Dr. Katarina Thatcher, an addiction specialist and therapist at Monima Wellness Center, San Diego’s first female-only therapeutic recovery center, notes that “a lot of the times, I noticed that people typically start getting into a maladaptive relationship with substances when their mental health is on the decline. And, to be honest, substances work. That’s part of the reason that we gravitate to them.” There’s the rub. 

Depending on the severity of one’s use, Thatcher cautions that when choosing sobriety “it’s really important that you get a health care team involved … because it can get very scary and people can get very sick.”

Overall, she says, “I think what is important for people to realize is when you’re challenging your relationship with a substance, [ask] what function does it serve? Or, what is it that keeps me coming back to this thing?” Most of us know what we’re numbing but naming it out loud can be the hardest thing to do.

My sister invited me out to dinner on January 9 for my niece’s birthday. I knew this would be the hardest hurdle I’ve faced. My sister and I grew up in restaurants together, always surrounded by the normalcy of drinking. Cocktails to start and a bottle of wine (or two) to finish was the liquid cadence of every meal. My sister is my best friend—and neither of us can deny an Aperol Spritz. The co-signing on questionable behavior is real. She texts me the wine list as I’m driving to the restaurant. I walk into the clamor of kids and the din of the other diners. She’s sitting there smiling through the cacophony with a Sauvignon Blanc. 

I know I don’t have to drink. I know she’ll be fine if I don’t. She won’t shame me. She won’t get sad. But I feel the urge to keep up appearances. This is how we dine.

Dr. Thatcher calls out some of the main triggers for people on their sober curious quest. “My mind goes to people, places and things,” she says. “If you know maybe you’re going to be in a situation where you’re going to be really uncomfortable, or you know that there’s going to be a lot of drinking, and maybe you’re fresh on your recovery journey or your abstinence journey, maybe it’s best to sit that one out.”

But, again, there I sit. The waitress approaches and spews that baiting line I myself have said a thousand times, “Anything to drink?” I spy the happy hour menu and spot a Chardonnay. Despite my better wine knowledge, it’s my kryptonite. I order the $6 glass and know it’s going to be horrible.

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The waitress comes back, delivering the chintzy glass full to the brim. I think of my friend who’s gone. I think of the LA that’s gone. I think of my progress, which is seconds away from being gone. Surely one little glass won’t set me spiraling. I take a sip. Gasoline with notes of pear. This pick wasn’t worth breaking my fast, but I’m heartened by the fact that I don’t finish it. Maybe because it’s terrible or maybe because I know better.

Dr. Thatcher emphasizes that “relapse is a part of recovery, which I think can be really daunting and maybe even discouraging for folks. But also perfectionism, or the idea of doing things perfectly, is also damaging to mental health. So, if you do relapse, or if you do have those sips, and you’re like ‘That’s not for me.’ Then, okay, there’s no need to beat yourself up over it.”

Though I let myself slip, I got right back on the horse and haven’t touched a drop since. Am I disappointed with myself? A little. But this experience proves that I can allow alcohol in when I want and shut it off when I want. I think.

Next week, we give our state’s latest adult export a shot and go Cali-Sober.

The post Dry January: Relapsing and Rebounding appeared first on San Diego Magazine.

From providing shelter and healthcare to offering job training and therapeutic childcare, the impact of this mission is undeniable. With nearly 274,000 shelter bed nights and over 300 permanent housing transitions recorded in 2024 alone, it’s a community-driven effort redefining hope. We caught up with Javier to discuss what it’s like to volunteer with the organization.

What made you want to volunteer for this organization?

Jeff Javier (JJ): I started volunteering when my wife was pregnant with our daughter in 2008. I saw a father in a busy intersection on Mira Mesa Blvd holding a sign that said he needed food for himself, his wife, and his kids. I felt terrible that he was in his situation, which made me want to help. I gave him a gift card but knew that wasn’t the solution. So that’s when I contacted Father Joe’s Village.

What do your volunteer duties entail?

JJ: I greet and welcome each guest, serve food at my assigned table, clean up after the guests, hand out drinks, and improve a stranger’s day.

Can you describe your favorite or most memorable experience while volunteering?

JJ: My most memorable volunteering experience happened at a July 4 special meal. There was a large group of military volunteers. I immediately recognized one of the women as a former fifth grade student of mine whom I hadn’t seen in maybe 15 years. We exchanged life updates, and I expressed my congratulations on her life path.

Any advice for someone considering volunteering as a way to get involved with their community?

JJ: My advice is to sign up and experience the feeling of helping hundreds of strangers have a better day. The appreciation the guests give in return is priceless.

The post Volunteer Diaries: Father Joe’s Villages appeared first on San Diego Magazine.