This story is part of a series. Click here to read The Prep, Days 3-4 and Day 5 .
Day One: Sunday
Making New Friends
I launch my Bumble BFF account and spend a few minutes swiping. Loathe to miss any potential matches, I swipe right on pretty much everyone. But, honestly, there’s a little part of me that hopes I won’t match with anybody—after all, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of robot-generated messages, and I feel some guilt about my plan.
Planning My Outfits
No real outfit today—AI-generated or otherwise. Unless I’m going to brunch, I spend Sundays in jammies or workout clothes.
Food Shopping & Meal Prep
Breakfast today is both Greek yogurt and oatmeal, which feels like a meal for someone who is teething. While I eat my oatmeal, I roast veggies for the next couple days and clean essentially my entire house. “This is making me more productive already!” I think, aware that if I wasn’t keeping an eye on the oven, I’d probably be out poking around shops in South Park instead of scrubbing.
At dinnertime, however, I become aware of two critical errors: I did not buy tahini and I did not make quinoa earlier. The tahini sauce is easily subbed for a little hummus mixed with olive oil and lemon juice, but cooking quinoa would take a solid half hour. I add a scoop of brown rice from lunch instead, possibly obliterating the macro balance that ChatGPT so carefully planned.
Exercise Schedule
My workout’s focus today is “Cardiovascular Exercise.”
Wearing my girlfriend’s half-marathon finisher t-shirt as a motivational tool, I start jogging around the quiet streets of Kensington. For a few minutes I feel hot and interesting, like a real runner—then my lungs start burning and I hear a phantom PE teacher yelling at me to pick up my mile time. Reasoning that 5.5 minutes is pretty good for someone who has never voluntarily run a day in her life, I settle for a brisk walk while gabbing with a friend on the phone.
Curating a Music Playlist
I wake up in a terrible mood, so I go to put on my trusty “Pop Girlies” playlist before remembering that I’m beholden to Xavier. He treats me to the dulcet tones of Paul Simon’s “The Obvious Child.”But, a few hours later, I’m wiping my bathroom counters when Xavier announces, “Let’s hear some songs from a playlist you’ve been listening to recently. First up, Taylor Swift.” A sampling of my “Pop Girlies” playlist floats through my phone’s speakers. I am content.
Day Two: Monday
Making New Friends
I have two matches on Bumble BFF, so I ask ChatGPT to draw up a short, friendly greeting for them.
Then I figure if I’m going to hell, I might as well do it properly. I request that ChatGPT to generate a romantic good morning text to send to my girlfriend, Michaela. It feels shady, like I’m Christian de Neuvillette and the AI is a swagless Cyrano de Bergerac.
I spend the next few hours in a state of unexpected, supreme anxiety while I await a reply. Michaela isn’t clued into my plan for this story, so I can’t help but imagine the worst-case scenario response from her. What if she thinks I have been kidnapped? Am making fun of her? Am breaking up with her??? A text from Michaela finally comes through. “Who stole Amelia?” she writes.“A ROBOT!!!” I admit, more than ready to give up the jig.
Planning My Outfits
I take to StyleDNA to pick out my outfit for the first time. I choose a combo without too many shoppable items, subbing my own crossbody for the app’s suggested $295 bag. I wouldn’t have paired wide-legged pants with such a bulky pullover, but I like this outfit—it makes me feel like I run a farmers market stand.
When I get to work, my colleagues offer their take: “Very Silicon Valley.”Later, I change into another AI-generated outfit for my friend Kal’s birthday party at Dave & Buster’s.Once again I feel like the app has a misguided sense of proportions—while the structured jacket helps, I wouldn’t normally pair a tight top with leggings unless I was going to yoga or barre. I swapped the AI’s suggested $151 purple tote for my taupe one (embracing my colors!) and the shoppable sandals (just $26!) for brown heeled ones. The slight heel with workout clothes is objectively silly, but, to me, the playful contrast is actually the chicest part of this outfit.
Food Shopping & Meal Prep
Breakfast today slaps. It’s tasty, satiating but not heavy, and quick and easy to make (even if I have to consult my roommate on egg-poaching best practices).
Lunch is less satisfying: a feta-and-spinach-stuffed sweet potato with roasted Brussels sprouts. A few hours later, I’m ravenous, inhaling my snack the second I get home. Obviously, ChatGPT can’t predict the days when I’ll be hungrier than usual, so if I hadn’t committed to following the AI’s exact plan, I’d be supplementing with a protein bar.
Luckily, dinner provides some of the heartiness I’m craving, though I’d love to add a slice of cheddar to the burger—and again, if I were following this meal plan just for my own ease and convenience, I would!
Exercise Schedule
I sign up for a one-week free trial at the nearest gym to work on today’s focus: strength training. I warm up with a yoga flow while gym bros, like, bench pine trees all around me.Then Michaela walks me through arm exercises for half an hour. I don’t feel great during or after, probably because I could use more protein and fat to fuel the workout.