His View:
Single in the City
I was never very good at dating. But lately I’ve learned that a little confidence, style, and the Internet will get you pretty far in the dating world.
Meeting girls online has been a fantastic way to widen my pool of possible connections in San Diego. I’m very busy, have two jobs, and not much free time. I’ll start talking to five or six women around the same time, and meet them all in the same week. I’ve even gone on dates with more than one girl in the same day.
With Internet dating, it’s important not to “pen pal” with someone for too long. Once we seem to have a decent connection, I try to meet them within a couple days. I’m a fan of the relaxed, no-pressure first date at places like Ballast Point Brewery in Little Italy, The Safehouse (which also has video games! Beating your date at Mario Kart after delicious ramen and a beer can be fun), the San Diego Zoo (obviously expensive unless you both have a zoo pass), and the Balboa Park museums’ residents-free Tuesdays. All of those are inexpensive and very social settings where you can let your guard down and have a conversation.
I try to go into these first dates with no expectations. Sometimes we don’t see each other again. Sometimes we become friends. Sometimes we hook up. You can’t force relationships. If you meet the right person, you’ll know. Until that happens, I’m quite happy meeting as many new people as I can and sharing new experiences.
Her View:
Single in the City
Flaky—that’s how I would describe the dating scene here. In recent memory, I’ve had at least four guys cancel on me the day of, or the hour before, our planned date. It’s frustrating. There are just so many options at people’s fingertips with all the dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Match, Coffee Meets Bagel—yes, I’ve tried them all at different times), and if you’ve never met in person, guys are less inclined to care about wasting your time or hurting your feelings. I would much prefer to meet someone while I’m out and about, or through mutual friends.
But dating apps have made people lazy. Men don’t have to approach you at a bar and risk rejection, because they’ve got hundreds of other options. They can send a mass message to 25 women that says something like, “Sup? Cute smile” and actually begin a conversation while hiding behind their phones. Chances are, at least one of those women will respond as long as he’s employed and over 5-foot-10. (The topic of height as it relates to online dating could be an entirely separate article—so could the blatant disregard for grammar. It sux.)
I’m 31. I don’t go to PB to meet guys. But if I were 21, I probably would. The Gaslamp can be hit or miss. It’s better if you go to a lounge, restaurant bar, or dive bar so that you can actually have a conversation. Downtown clubs are for bottle service, EDM (electronic dance music), and one-night stands. Today, thirtysomethings are flocking to places like Kettner Exchange in Little Italy that feel more mature than the Gaslamp. The trendy neighborhood is becoming more of a late-night destination than ever before—remember when people had romantic dates at charming Italian restaurants there? Alas, this is the world we live in now. So keep calm and swipe on.
Single in the City
Single dating in San Diego | Photo by Jay Reilly
