I didn’t text my ex happy birthday. His day was coming up, almost two months after we had broken up. I thought about it a lot leading up to it, asked everyone I knew whether it was a good idea and waited for someone to give me the “yes” I was looking for.
No matter how I worded it, no one obliged.
I imagined how he’d respond if I ignored my friends. Would Caleb* be glad to hear from me, or would he roll his eyes at the sight of my name on his phone? Has he thought about me, or is he off living his best life? The latter, probably.
To shake the pit I felt in my stomach, I worked out more, kept busy with friends, dove head-first into a new role at work, ate every dessert in my presence, and became a chef. Well, I stopped opening DoorDash daily. It helped.
Then, the day came, and I wrote out the words I wanted to text him and sent them—to my best friend. I got everything out into the world and waited to feel better. I didn’t. Mostly, everything felt grey around me, another reminder that the future I was hoping for was getting pushed back again.
I’m not the first person in history to battle with this issue and sure as hell won’t be the last. Today, we’re nearly two months past his birthday and I feel… fine. That despair has leveled out and I’m more confident that it was the right move.
We haven’t chatted, I have no clue how he’s doing, and life moved on. But the support I felt from friends in one of my more challenging moments got me thinking: I wanna hear from you. Right now, I’m curious who of my readers have texted their ex and how it worked out (or didn’t).
Send me your stories of texting your ex on a special occasion (200 words or less) to [email protected]. I want to know if it was an epic fail or if it worked out in your favor. Make us laugh, make us cringe, make us singles feel less silly for even considering sending that text. We’ll choose our favorites to share in an upcoming post.
Until then, don’t text your ex. Or do.
*Caleb is a pseudonym.
If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here with columnist Nicolle Monico. And follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week from new writer Natalie Cooper.
Sign-up now for the Unhinged newsletter for exclusive content, Q&As with columnists Nicolle and Natalie, and subscriber-only meet-ups!
[sdm-newsletter-placement]
