Egg-cellent Memory
“Got too drunk. Barfed up eggs. Couldn’t eat eggs for a year. Got a tattoo about it.” – Jenna
Best Friends Forever
“Don’t leave a tattoo machine around a couple of drunks. While stumbling into my house from the bar with [my friends] Mike and Marshall, I noticed our friend left his machine there. Not knowing what to tattoo on myself, I sat down next to Mike, and the first thing that came to mind was… Mike. So I tattooed ‘Mike’ on my thigh with an arrow pointing to the man. But what does Mike like? PIZZA! So I did my guy right by doing a lovely slice of pie below his name. I handed the gun over to Mike. He seemed to have the [same] epiphany. He did ‘Pat’ with an arrow on his thigh, as well. Mike, not being a good friend, did not give me a slice of pizza or any handheld food, for that matter. Just ‘Pat ←.’ Thanks.” – Pat
Powder Room Produce
“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen someone eat in a bathroom? [I once saw] an old janitor in the Newark Airport take one bite out of a banana and slowly chew, not saying or doing anything else. So I put this on myself to remember forever.” – Steve
Sad Story
“On my 21st birthday, I went out in Pacific Beach. I drank WAYYYY too much and got kicked out. I had the bright idea to get a tattoo saying ‘Sad Story’ because I was sad I got kicked out. Lip tattoos are supposed to last a few years… It’s been 15 years and it’s still there. It truly is a sad story.” – Riley
Played In Peoria
“I fell into the trap of getting a trendy-for-the-time tattoo and got a big tribal piece on my back right when I turned 18. Problem is, it has no real meaning since it was designed by a white guy in Peoria, Arizona. Also, I got it on the cheap—the artist was very heavy-handed, so the color faded almost immediately and it has looked like a 30-year-old tattoo since the day I got it. It’s also too large and black to get anything to cover it up. The only saving grace is that it is on my back, so I don’t often have to see it.” – Frankie
Put a Bird On It
“The star was my very first tattoo that I got when I was 18, and my mom actually went with me and got a matching one in the same spot. She always called me her ‘star’ growing up, so that’s the significance of that one. I later added some of the swirls and dots to the star because it was so unevenly done and it needed a distraction… I think the distraction went a little too far. The birds were just the thing to do at the time (around 2010), and the most popular one was that dandelion with the seeds turning into birds. The quote is from a Wilco song—still my favorite band to this day—and it says, ‘Maybe it’s random how each moment unfolds.’ Still love the quote, but the font is totally unreadable now.” – Kim
Phallic Fauna
“I have a hidden dick in coral on my arm. It was tattooed by the ex-trumpet player from Voodoo Glow Skulls, who I guess is known for doing that.” – Steve
Not Just For Today
“I went to rehab for alcohol young, at around 16 or 17. I got the tattoo as a symbol of my sobriety when I turned 18 and got out. Then I grew up. I’m no longer an addict, but I drink on occasion and smoke weed.” – Anonymity
Marooned in Wonderland
“I get asked, ‘What islands are those?’ But it’s supposed to be a silhouette from Alice in Wonderland— Alice falling down the hole with her watch and two teacups.” – Reana
Maybe Less Is More
“I have epilepsy, and ‘Shakes’ was my high school nickname. Right when I graduated, this was my first tattoo that I thought was a good idea. Looking back on it, maybe something a little smaller would’ve been better.” – Daniel
Hammered Hieroglyphs
“A friend and I used to text these emojis to each other after a heavy night of boozin’. We figured we’d solidify our decade-long friendship with a matching tattoo. We’re not friends anymore, but I still have the great memories.” – Jason
Big Mistake
“Yes, this is a picture of my ex-husband’s name above my ass. He was in the Marine Corps and they called him Big Nick because of the fact that he was 6’8 and 375 pounds. Naturally, I regret it.” – Ramona
Beavis & Butt Tat
“I got Beavis and Butt-Head riding a bike like in ET on my buttcheek. I was watching the episode [that parodies the movie], and that inspired me to get the tattoo.” – Jonny
