After a particularly bad relationship ended in 2023, tiny pieces of me covered the streets of San Diego, filling every pothole and sidewalk crack with the parts of my heart shattered by that love.
I scrolled TikTok daily, watching every influencer and content creator who offered advice on how to heal from a toxic relationship while trying to put myself back together. I felt hope as social media tarot card readers told me that my love was just around the corner, but mostly, I sat on my phone to feel less alone.
When I turned 40 in January of 2024, I was finally in a better place to start dating again, but I found that the app world was a whole other universe for people my age.
So, I took matters into my own hands and launched a dating column to seek advice from relationship experts and dissect the current local landscape. Unhinged, A Dating Serieswas born—my platform to check in with other local singles and find answers to all of our burning love queries.
But I’m not the first San Diego Magazine editor to take up the mantle. Throughout its 76 years, the mag has consistently covered the dating scene in the city. Going back through old issues, I find titles like “Falling in Serious Love” (1984), “Love on the Internet.com” (1997), and “Older Women, Younger Men” (2003).
A quote in that first article reminded me that, while the world has drastically changed in the last four decades, much has also stayed the same. “Singles bars are kind of like New Year’s Eve,” observes Nora Slattery, a local businesswoman. “Everyone thinks they’re supposed to be having a great time. But if you really look at the scene, most of them aren’t. And the chances of meeting someone among the vast number of people who also like French films, the symphony, and Chinese food are really slim—unless you do your drinking at a Chinese restaurant that has a foreign film festival.”
As hard as things are today, at least we can call out our passion for Francophile cinema in our Bumble bios.
After a year of writing the column—publishing nearly 40 articles, transcribing hours of interviews, getting vulnerable about my own love life, and drinking plenty of wine—I’ve finally begun to better understand San Diego’s dating climate.
While the city’s singles haven’t cracked a foolproof formula to finding their perfect match, I do believe we’re entering a more earnest era. People are getting back out there to meet others in the real world, and they’re looking for partners that share their values. Relationship structures are becoming increasingly diverse. And daters are putting in the work to become better partners by checking in with their own mental health and aiming to understand what makes their significant others feel loved—so there’s plenty to look forward to in 2025.
A Return to Meeting People IRL
When the pandemic hit in 2020, it altered everything about our lives, including the way we date. With the opportunity for in-person interactions significantly reduced, dating apps became one of the few places you could actually chat with new people, leading to a renewed focus on virtual connections.
But centering tech-driven romance was a long time coming. In February of 1997, a feature in San Diego Magazine entitled “Love on the Internet.com” discussed a novel way to search for your soulmate: “on the electronic highway.” Even then, the challenges were palpable.
“It’s so competitive,” personal matchmaker Debra Winkler told SDM writer Virginia Butterfield. “Nobody can just be attractive, they have to be gorgeous. And everybody says they look 15 years younger than they really are.”
Even after matching with someone, Butterfield points out, “you could chat for months before a real date occurs.” While it’s more rare to be off the apps than on them nowadays, the sense that they just aren’t working persists.
“I think the challenging part is getting to the date,” 44-year-old San Diego county resident Matthew Roberts says about his own romantic struggles. “There [are] just so many different profiles, and [maybe] this person looks great, but you never get a response from them, or even if you do get a response, it’s a line and then they’re gone.”
Roberts isn’t the only one over the ghosting. Last year, we began to see a huge shift in people ditching Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, and other apps to get back out into the world and more actively seek their match—a post-pandemic reemergence of sorts.
“The societal mentality of being willing to go beyond yourself and speak and connect and exchange and share with other people in any kind of setting—that’s the mentality that’s slowly but surely been shifting since we came out of the pandemic,” South Park resident Brianna Wilkerson tells me. “I feel hopeful for everybody that we’re in a place now where we can just do that with more ease and more excitement and embrace the opportunity to do that at any given moment.”
Activity-based gatherings intended to casually bring together singles with similar interests are likely to become much more common in 2025. It’s a natural progression of a phenomenon that was already gathering steam. “A perfect storm of pandemic-induced loneliness coupled with serious dating-app fatigue has turned the city’s sports leagues, running clubs, and gyms into the hottest places to date in New York,” The Cut reported last year.
The same was true of San Diego, with singles like Wilkerson taking matters into their own hands. The 44-year-old has actively been dating in the city for the past six years, but she felt that when it came to her age group, there were few opportunities to meet someone in person—after all, the bar scene had worn out its welcome some years ago.
So, Wilkerson decided to host her own singles’ mixer last July. Forty-five attendees showed up ready to make a match. Bolstered by the success of her first event, Wilkerson is throwing her second one this month and hopes to continue to offer more chances for locals to meet each other outside of their phones.
The Need for Stability and Emotional Availability Will Dictate Future Dates
If Covid pushed us to start meeting people in real life again, it also changed our priorities—after years of “unprecedented times” and an uncertain future, it’s no wonder singles began craving commitment and stability.
In November of last year, the dating app Bumble released its 2025 Dating Trends study, which surveyed more than 40,000 Gen Z and millennial users worldwide to find out what singles were searching for this year.
The data showed that 59 percent of women respondents were looking for someone emotionally dependable and emotionally stable and choosing to talk about these topics in the early stages of a courtship—proof that now, more than ever, women are no longer willing to waste their time with someone whose long-term goals and values don’t match with theirs.
Bumble is calling this “future proofing” and expects 2025 to be a transitional year, one in which people will be more upfront about what they want and need from the get-go.
“One in three users are discussing heavy-hitting topics earlier in their dating journeys than before, leading to candid conversations about budgeting, housing, climate change, and job ambitions,” a Bumble spokesperson tells me. “We’re seeing that people are taking a more active role in identifying and controlling these things where and how they can, including in their relationships.”
As a single dad looking for someone who “matches his energy,” Roberts sees the benefit of getting these questions out of the way during initial dates.
“I try to get to a place [on dates] where we’re talking about what we want in life. Values. You know, kids, dogs, traveling, what they love, health and fitness, meditation, self-improvement,” he adds. “So I talk about all those things and see how they reciprocate.”
Trading in Monogamy for Non-Traditional Relationship Structures
Of course, future proofing requires a good idea of what you want out of a relationship—and, increasingly, daters are finding that traditional monogamy may not be what feels most authentic for them.
In 2023, Match.com’s annual Singles in America study of more than 5,000 people found that 49 percent of singles indicated monogamy as their ideal sexual relationship structure, meaning that more than half are open to non-traditional structures such as consensual non-monogamy. Survey participants noted that they’d participated in swinging, open relationships, polyamory (being in committed relationships with more than one person with the consent of all people involved), and being somewhat monogamous (allowing for sexual variety either together as a couple or individually).
Those numbers are a big jump from previous studies, including a 2021 YouGov poll in which 25 percent of surveyed Americans said they’d be interested in having an open relationship.
The shift has been the most noticeable amongst members of Gen Z, who are more fluid in their sexual orientation and more diverse in their views on monogamy, according to Dr. Miriam Torres Brinkmann, a San Diego licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach. “Younger people [are] more open to that as a possibility that they are willing to explore. They’re less rigid,” she says.
But conversations about non-monogamy have become more mainstream across generations, with shows like Peacock’s Couple to Throuplehelping lead the way.
“People are talking more about opening up their relationship. There [are] a lot more conversations around just exactly what dating means and what people’s expectations are when they’re in a relationship,” says Christopher Wilhelm, a San Diego–based licensed professional clinical counselor with more than 15 years of clinical mental health experience. “I think people nowadays feel like if they’re in an exclusive relationship, they’re kind of cutting themselves off from other possibilities.”
Choosing non-monogamy allowed 36-year-old SD local Jess Parker and his husband Alex Aragon to add a third person to their relationship. The pair and their boyfriend are in a closed throupledom, meaning that all three of them are sexually and romantically involved with each other, but they don’t date outside of their threesome (they define this dynamic as “polyfidelity”).
“When the two of us started dating polyamorously, there definitely was messiness. It was a lot harder, just because you don’t know how to react to things,” Parker says. “But as time went on, there were lessons learned; your own boundaries start being understood more.”
Dr. Brinkmann’s advice for anyone interested in polyamory or an open relationship? Constant communication. “If it works, it can be really fulfilling,” she adds. “But it requires a lot of communication and [knowing your] boundaries. If you don’t have clarity in the boundaries, then it can be very messy.”
Social Media is Helping Us Learn How to be More Mindful Daters
Thankfully, people dating today talk about the importance of boundaries a lot—but it wasn’t always that way. Past SDM dating articles from our archives never mention the word, and other now-familiar therapeutic terms like “attachment styles” and “gaslighting” are absent, too.
However, as digital content creation started to become a legitimate career path starting in the early 2000s, we saw the rise of “social media therapists” in the mid-to-late 2010s. These mental health professionals use YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok to offer educational content on therapeutic concepts, reaching people who can’t afford therapy or aren’t currently interested in it.
And many saw their platforms grow during the pandemic, when people sought online access to mental health information and support. Armed with new language, people began to speak more freely about topics that were once only discussed behind closed doors.
“Some people like to complain that psychology words, clinical words, are now super mainstream, but I see the [benefit],” Dr. Brinkmann says. “Now everyone has more awareness.”
Knowledge of these concepts can help people become better partners—take the concept of “love languages” as one example. In 1992, marriage counselor Gary Chapman introduced the term to the world in his book The 5 Love Languages.
Chapman claims that everyone gives and receives love differently—and that understanding your loved one’s ideal language is the key to a successful relationship (whether romantic or not). He identified five basic love languages: acts of service, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and words of affirmation. The theory has since become so mainstream that apps like Hinge and Tinder have a dedicated space for users to list theirs.
“People are trying to figure out what they can do to speak their love language better to their partner and what theirs is so they can communicate better with them,” Wilhelm says.
Whether they gain a deeper understanding of these concepts in their own therapy sessions or from their For You pages, singles will increasingly explore therapeutic language and ideas as a way to strengthen relationships and become more mindful daters in 2025. It’s all part of an age of increased earnestness and openness and more real-life encounters—one in which we understand ourselves and each other better, hopefully finding more enduring and fulfilling love in the process.
Interested in keeping up with the latest in the San Diego dating space? Join the Unhinged community by signing up for our love and dating newsletter below.
Nicolle Monico is an award-winning writer and the director of creative projects, digital editor for San Diego Magazine with more than 19 years of experience in media including Outside Run, JustLuxe and The San Francisco Chronicle.
There was once an actress known as “San Diego’s Sweetheart” who mailed herself to Los Angeles—donning a helmet covered in postage stamps and boarding a two-seater, single-engine mail plane. The publicity stunt was billed as the first air parcel package in the US. It wasn’t. She wasn’t even the first human to be mailed: When the US parcel post started in 1913, at least seven people mailed their newborns to relatives (an innovative loophole eventually outlawed).
Technicalities be damned. That kind of nose for spectacle was why Virginia Brissac was such a star—landing bit parts in TV shows (I Love Lucy, Dragnet) and 155 films, notably playing James Dean’s grandmother in Rebel Without a Cause. “Nobody could help but love her,” her dresser told San Diego Magazine in a 1971 feature, published when Brissac was 88 years old.
In 1911, she topped the Playbill at the opening of the Savoy Theatre at 3rd and C streets in Downtown—a grand live-performance hall built for $150,000 ($5.2 million in today’s money). It became one of the premiere vaudeville theaters in the country (under vaudeville king Alexander Patages). The theater helped make San Diego a destination for stars like silent-film comedian Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle, heavyweight champ Jack Dempsey, plus classical legends Rachmaninoff and Anna Pavlova. As theaters converted to movie houses through the ’20s and ’30s, the Savoy remained dedicated to live humans. It closed in 1940, and the Civic Theater now stands in its footprint.
As for Brissac, during a time when women couldn’t even vote, she led a stock company under her own name at the Strand Theatre. The Brissac Company held a four-year residency, “an all-time successful record run for San Diego,” the article says. That classic Ocean Beach theater (featured in San Diego film legend Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous) has been closed for decades, its bones now a chain beachwear and souvenir store. But Brissac’s legacy lives through the women leading San Diego’s theater scene.
Read the entire 1971 article by Merle Clayton below…
Emma Veidt is an editor at San Diego Magazine. She earned her bachelor's and master's degrees from the Missouri School of Journalism. She loves running, hiking, and rock climbing, but really, she mostly loves encounters with the street cats around North Park.
What Will It Take to Make San Diego a Global Arts City?
Jonathon Glus on the Art + Design District, investing in the creative economy, keeping artists in the city, and what we can learn from places like London and Chicago
Jonathon Glus is the Prebys Foundation senior fellow leading the development of the Art + Design District at the Downtown San Diego Partnership. He has been asked what an arts and design district is many times. In our conversation, I asked him instead to describe what it isn’t. His answer opened up a broader discussion about what San Diego has and hasn’t invested in, what it has the capacity to become, and what other cities have done that we haven’t. Glus speaks about global art fairs and architecture biennials in Chicago and long tables at dinner parties all with the same fluency. He also discusses who gets to live in the neighborhoods where creative work happens, and what it means when they can’t afford to stay.
Claire Johnson: You have been asked what an arts and design district is many times. Can you tell me what it isn’t?
Jonathon Glus: It is not a place designed intentionally and specifically for tourists. Of course there will be opportunities for tourists to come, but the district is really focused on creatives, on creative education, and on the creative workforce—as well as our major performing arts organizations. That is the emphasis.
What does the district need to do in the next five years for you to consider it a success?
[It needs to] develop greater connectivity between the anchor institutions—the symphony, Broadway San Diego, the opera, all the wonderful things happening in Balboa [Park]—and the creative workforce that will be living and working in that neighborhood 24/7.
What does San Diego not have that you wish it did?
We have not been intentionally investing in the contemporary art product that other major cities have been building. A contemporary art fair. A biennial that reflects the ethos of this region. Chicago developed an architecture biennial about eight years ago. London has a design biennial. Desert X, right here in Southern California, invests in and elevates contemporary artists inside a city. We have not really been playing in the global art market in a way that we have the capacity to.
What capacity do we have?
We have a wonderful foundation. Two theater companies that produce work that goes to Broadway more than many regional theaters in the country, major museums, artists teaching at UC San Diego and University of San Diego. What a city does when it wants to take itself to the next level is intentionally create the product. Miami went after the Art Basel fair; they did not passively receive it. You have to have the intention and the will, and you have to go after it. We haven’t done that in the way that other cities have.
Look at what we did with the tech sector; we’re now a major tech center. That was intentional. Leadership organized around it. We have to do the same thing around the arts. We have a lot of contemporary art collectors here. We have a lot of galleries. But the ecosystem of the business of contemporary art is not as organized or as visible as it should be.
Which city is your North Star?
It’s bits and pieces of different cities. Dubai has invested very quickly and very intentionally in contemporary art—art fairs, design fairs, higher education, artist residencies from all over the world. London has centered artists and creatives in the contemporary zeitgeist in a way that was not true 40 years ago. They built biennials. They ensured British artists had affordable housing and workspace. They made sure the media paid attention to what they were doing.
If you don’t have an artist at your dinner table, it’s not a dinner party. That sounds elitist, but it’s true. It shows the value that artists have in a community. Our relationship culturally with Tijuana is really significant here because artists in Baja seem to be at the table.
We’ve talked before about how food, fashion, design, and art aren’t siloed anymore.
They aren’t. When super creative people are in a community doing extraordinary work, that draws other super creative people doing extraordinary work. That’s why other arts and design districts around the world end up populated with some of the most interesting restaurants and young fashion designers. Creatives want to be around other creatives.
Which leads to the economic argument…
Our creative economy already employs about 170,000 people and generates more than $11 billion in economic activity. It’s large and robust. But we must center all of this in accessibility and affordability. Williamsburg used to be affordable. Artists can’t afford to live there anymore. Wicker Park and Bucktown in Chicago—artist central, now unaffordable. If we’re going to invest in this district, we have to be really intentional about housing and workspace, so creatives have a place in the future of this district.
I see all these new supper clubs and creative collectives popping up. What is the lesson there for San Diego in terms of the commercialization of cultural and creative groups?
I think the lesson is that nothing changes. What do people love? Long tables. Why? Because you’re with a lot of people—some you may have known your entire life, but most you don’t. And if it’s driven by a creative process, all the better. We know one of the best ways to do that is around food, but also music.
For the Art + Design District, part of why we’re leaning into the process is because, culturally, we’re bringing down the barriers between film, fashion, multimedia, tech, and architecture. It’s an experiential mashup in the best possible way.
And it’s not just about art and design, but community writ large. Creative expression is something we all desire. Whether it’s at a long table, at the opera, or in your studio, we gravitate toward creative expression as a way of building community and communicating with the people around us.
Is there a question I should have asked you but haven’t?
I hope you are writing about this in seven years when the district is fully mature. But this is just the beginning for all of this. I think that’s what’s most exciting to me. We don’t know what this is going to be like, but we know it’s going to be creatively centered, and that’s super exciting to me.
On February 28, 1926, the Fine Arts Gallery of San Diego (now called the San Diego Museum of Art) opened its Plateresque doors to 3,000 guests for opening day. Over the next century, the museum changed with the times—even once functioning as a naval hospital after Pearl Harbor. This year, the museum is celebrating its 100th birthday with an exhibit (open through January 24, 2027) featuring photographs, ephemera, and film footage spanning the museum’s history.
Courtesy of Tim Novara
Free Concerts at Spreckels Organ Pavilion
Every Sunday from 2 to 3 p.m., stop by the historic Spreckels Organ Pavilion for a free concert presented by the City of San Diego on the largest outdoor organ in the world (more than 5,000 pipes). The pavilion seats 2,400 for performances by the civic organist or guest artists.
Some think natural history museums are just cemeteries for dioramas that haven’t received an update since the Reagan administration. When it comes to The Nat, which just finished a $7.5 million rejuvenation, they’re totally wrong. The museum debuted a new rooftop that replaces its 25-year-old atrium. The old roof created a greenhouse effect that steamed up some exhibits, so the new one—which includes 200 solar panels and better temperature control—will help preserve the artifacts inside. Each Friday in the summer, The Nat also becomes one of the season’s vibiest hotspots during Nat at Night, with food from places like Wolf in the Woods and The Craft Taco, bars and signature cocktails on several floors, and a rooftop DJ.
Fleet Science Theater Remodel
The Fleet Science Center just received its most significant update since the 1990s. It expanded its exhibit space by 20 percent and introduced a newly designed entrance gallery (formerly the IMAX theater lobby) that includes free exhibits for visitors who want a taste of the science without paying an admission fee. The former ticketing area now houses the Mindbender Mansion exhibit, and there’s a new café, Element 8, that will, of course, sell the center’s famous soft serve.
Kelly H. Harfouche, founder of KQ Aesthetic Society, knows firsthand that cosmetic treatments like fillers, neurotoxins, and microneedling, can not only enhance a person’s appearance and restore confidence, they have the power to truly change a person’s life. An expert injector has the ability to tailor treatments to each individual patient’s anatomy and goals for personalized results. Harfouche, a board-certified nurse practitioner, has spent nearly a decade perfecting her craft as an aesthetic injector and integrating her multifaceted artistic skills with precision patient care. Her commitment to continual education and training, plus a passion for helping people look—and feel—their best, set KQ Aesthetic Society apart in a sea of local medspas.
For many people considering nonsurgical treatments, the intent is to look refreshed and refined. KQ Aesthetic Society’s philosophy eschews a cookie cutter approach that bases treatments around units, instead working to understand each person’s unique goals, then curating a treatment plan to fit that vision. Harfouche focuses on “inclusive luxury,” the belief that everyone deserves access to aesthetic treatments, respective of budget restrictions. She develops long-standing trusted relationships with her patients, and works with each one to achieve their aesthetic objectives and address the underlying causes of their concerns.
“For me, forming an honest and open relationship with every patient who walks through the door is essential. This means understanding them on a deeper level and meeting them where they are to define and achieve their individual goals,” she says.
Drawing on her artistic background, which inspired her transition into medical aesthetics, Harfouche sees each client as a “unique canvas.” Rather than relying on standardized procedures, the practitioner’s distinctive approach combines her profound understanding of the physiological and anatomical changes associated with aging with an unwavering commitment to ongoing education about the newest products and their mechanisms of action. Her goal is to make each patient feel beautiful in their own skin and to embrace their individuality.
She has also pioneered a way to combine her talent for aesthetic artistry with her philanthropic nature. Harfouche is one of only a handful of providers using dermal fillers to treat patients with lip asymmetry and scarring resulting from cleft lip surgery. Patients travel from around the country for this transformative treatment, noting increased confidence and a restored identity. She hopes to eventually launch a training program to help fill the void in this space.
“My passion has always been connecting with people and giving back in any capacity that I can,” she says. In the rapidly advancing landscape of aesthetic medicine, you can place your confidence in Harfouche and KQ Aesthetic Society to deliver exceptional care. To learn more or book a consultation, please visit kqaestheticsociety.com.
September is San Diego’s unofficial second summer—the crowds thin, the weather stays warm, and the city’s calendar somehow gets even busier. This month brings stadium-sized rock shows, Broadway’s buzziest comedy, a new anime convention, world-premiere theater, gallery openings, food festivals, and the first signs of spooky season. Whether you’re ready to lean into fall or determined to keep summer going, here are the best things to do in San Diego this September.
As Guns N’ Roses storm into decade five, their appetite for destruction persists. During their Snapdragon Stadium concert, hear the hard rock anthems, new material and a set from The Black Crowes.
9/23
Kehlani is proof that the romance and earnest sensuality of old-school R&B will never go out of style. Hear her take it back to the aughts at Viejas Arena.
From the silver screen to The Old Globe stage, John Carney will Begin Again (again) with a world premiere musical adaptation featuring new songs—courtesy of Train—and a story overflowing with hope.
9/12-10/17
The concept of work is a guiding principle for San Diego native and multidisciplinary creative noé olivas. Observe his community-informed approach via Tierra y Cielo (Earth and Sky) at Best Practice Gallery.
9/18-10/25
Two workers grapple with the weight of their roles at a temporary migrant shelter in Mario Vega’s world premiere play Our Lady of the San Diego Convention Center, set for citywide performances.
9/26-2/28/2027
Luminous visions of peace and the Punjabi-American roots of Rupinder Kaloti inform The Gathering, a wondrous unification of family foretold via paintings at Oceanside Museum of Art.
9/29-10/4
It’s Mary Todd Lincoln’s world and we’re just living in it. See the presidential paramour barrel to her way to stardom at the Civic Theatre during Oh, Mary!, Cole Escola’s political spoof.
Courtesy of SeaWorld
More Fun Things to Do in San Diego This Month
9/5 & 9/6
Pros and Con(vention)s: Anime San Diego will debut at the San Diego Convention Center with cosplayers, panels and more than 400 vendors well-versed in Japanese animation.
9/11-10/31
Scaredy cats beware: SeaWorld San Diego’s Howl-O-Scream embraces frights forged in darkness. Enjoy an ominous lineup of live shows, scare zones and bloody bars ahead of Halloween.
9/12
The best parts of Artivál and the Alley Cat Art Walk have united for the free Alley Cat Art Fest, an all-day outing for live music and immersive artwork in Downtown El Cajon.
9/12 & 9/13
Take a Grecian vacation for a fraction of the price during the annual Cardiff Greek Festival, two days of immersive cuisine and culture—with plenty of dancing—on the Encinitas coast.
9/13-9/20
Step away from the stove! The California Restaurant Association has eight days of eating experiences with your name on it. During San Diego Restaurant Week, explore by meal, neighborhood or cuisine for your personal dining plan.
9/16
Nourish yourself with an all-inclusive spread of Pacific Beach eats and locally-crafted artwork during the HeArt of PB Restaurant Walk on Garnet Avenue.
9/19
When it comes to stand-up comedy, Chelsea Handler is always ready to roast. See Handler tell anecdotes and skewer an assemblage of victims during her Balboa Theatre performance.
Ryan Hardison is a freelance arts and entertainment writer and recent graduate of San Diego State. When he's not staring at his laptop, he's likely eating an adobada burrito or getting sunburnt at the beach.
A Rare Look Inside Callaway Golf’s San Diego Test Center
The Ely Callaway Performance Center is where tour-level fittings, cutting-edge technology, and golf equipment you can’t buy yet all come together
Courtesy of Ely Callaway Performance Center
By Tina Mickelson
“Come test something.”
Those are quite possibly my three favorite words in the English language—all due respect to “I love you” or the highly underrated “you were right.”
I’ve been a PGA Golf Professional since 1994, and yes, full bias disclosure, a Callaway Golf Ambassador for 18 years. One of the bonuses that comes with that combo is access to the Ely Callaway Performance Center—a place so exclusive it gives “velvet rope” vibes.
Originally opened in 2006 as a highly functional (yet not exactly breathtaking) test facility, the ECPC got a serious glow-up in 2018 when Gil Hanse (along with partner Geoff Shackelford) turned it into what can only be described as a fully engineered golf playground. Hanse is no stranger to golf course renovations. In 2024, he completed an extensive redesign of the Omni La Costa North Course in Carlsbad, so it could host the NCAA Division 1 Golf Championships. He also worked on acclaimed courses like Winged Foot, Merion Golf Club, and Oakmont Country Club.
In just two months, it went from a standard test center and R&D lab to a fully dialed-in golf playground.
Courtesy of Ely Callaway Performance Center
What was once purely practical is now intentionally designed to be both precise and inspiring. The targets are staggered with purpose—forcing creative shot-making while also calling you out on your actual distances (no more “that’s my 150-yard club … ish”).
Add a massive hitting area, bunkers and greens that mimic real on-course conditions, a “Himalayas” putting green (named for its roller-coaster undulations), an upgraded indoor putting lab, and a 120-decibel sound system blasting a very golf-appropriate playlist, and suddenly it’s a rare blend of high-performance testing facility and “don’t mind if I stay here all day” energy. Since this isn’t exactly open to the public, SDM asked me to take you behind the curtain.
As the iron gates part, it feels less like arriving at a practice facility and more like being granted backstage access at a rock concert—if the bandmembers were made entirely of launch monitors and perfectly manicured turf.
There are no mats. No guessing. No “I think that one felt good?” Just conditions that mirror exactly what tour players see in competition. Because when you’re testing equipment at this level, accuracy isn’t a bonus—it’s the whole point.
Even the sand matters. Different textures. Different densities. Because bunkers have personalities, too, and they are often unfriendly. And the golf balls? Brand. New. Not the usual “these have seen some things” range balls. New balls mean consistent spin, truer trajectory, and no surprises. The older a golf ball gets—and the more it’s been baked in the sun, scuffed, or generally lived a full and complicated life—the less reliable it becomes. Think of it like this: fresh ball, predictable performance; old range ball, slight chaos with a side of mystery.
I’m escorted to my personal hitting bay—basically a pop-up shaded oasis stocked with enough equipment to make a gear junkie weak in the knees. Shafts in every weight and profile imaginable. Heads lined up like they’re waiting to be drafted by their favorite team.
Courtesy of Ely Callaway Performance Center
Toptracer technology was patiently waiting to track every one of my swings, each shot instantly delivering ball speed, launch, spin, carry distance, and dispersion (a polite way of saying consistency, or lack thereof), so there’s no guessing—just data telling the truth, whether I like it or not.
We start with irons. Different heads, different feels, different results. When I miss a shot, the ball tends to leak right, so we check lie angle. A quick adjustment—2 degrees upright—and suddenly the clubface is consistently square at impact like it remembered its job. Effort level: down. Ball flight: improved. Confidence: creeping back.
Next we look at the different shaft options—because nothing says “fun afternoon” like realizing a higher kick point can change your entire golf identity. Shaft flex (how much the shaft bends during your swing) helps determine whether you get more height and distance or more control, while kick point (where the shaft bends the most) influences your ball flight—lower kick point for higher launch, higher kick point for a flatter, more penetrating shot. In other words, one small tweak and suddenly you’re hitting shots you’d normally only describe later, slightly exaggerated, over a glass of wine.
Then we move through the bag: hybrids, fairway woods, drivers, wedges. It’s a full rotation of “try this,” “now try this,” and “okay wait … THAT one.”
And yes—the new Quantum driver and fairway woods made an appearance. Without getting too deep in the weeds, they’re faster, more forgiving, and smarter (thanks to AI face mapping) than previous models. Translation: Even your mishits are now slightly less embarrassing. And they were not the only things getting tested. My patience was under attack because the driver and woods would not be available to the public for a good three months.
Courtesy of Ely Callaway Performance Center
Watching the fitting team work is like watching a Formula 1 pit crew. Clubs are swapped in seconds. Shafts tightened, adjusted, replaced. One minute you’re swinging something that seems “fine,” and the next, you’re holding a club that feels like it is a part of your DNA.
Then there’s the putter fitting. Drivers are physics. Putters are therapy. Inside the putting lab, sensors track everything—tempo, face angle, path—things you didn’t even know could be measured. Within minutes, my data politely informs me that my putter face is slightly closed at impact. Not shocking, but also not ideal.
A few quick adjustments—different head (with a bit more weight at the toe to discourage the face swinging closed at impact), shorter shaft (so I feel more over the ball, which helps my eyeline)—and suddenly the ball starts rolling exactly where I’m aimed.
Same stroke. Same golfer. Completely different outcome. If only the rest of life worked like that.
And then there’s the part that feels slightly classified. The ECPC isn’t “just” a performance center—it’s also where future equipment lives before the public even knows it exists. I’ve been there when certain clubs were basically under surveillance. Not “don’t touch,” but more “please keep phones in your pocket.”
It’s golf’s version of Area 51. Except instead of aliens, it’s drivers that won’t hit shelves for another year—and like I mentioned, waiting is not my strong suit.
Getting to test the newest equipment isn’t just a perk—it’s part of the job. It’s what allows me to stand in front of students and say, “I’ve tried it. I know what works and what doesn’t. And more importantly, I know why.” And if I happen to sprint to my car every time the phone rings and someone says, “Come test something” … well, that’s just professional courtesy.
Callaway isn’t the only place to get your swing analyzed and clubs fitted. You can stroll into big retail spots like The Golf Mart or Golf Galaxy, book a next-level session at a dedicated studio like Club Champion or True Spec Golf, test brand-specific gear at various manufacturing companies (many located in Carlsbad), or even combine a lesson and a fitting at GOLFTEC. And let’s not forget your local golf course, where fittings happen on actual turf, on a driving range you have some history with—many times with the golf professional who is familiar with your swing so they can give you valuable input. With this many options, there’s really no excuse, other than pride, to keep blaming your clubs.
AVRP Studios’ tradition for Design Excellence and Innovation began in 1976 with Doug Austin, FAIA, in Solana Beach, California. The firm has since grown to complete major projects throughout the United States and Canada. We think of ourselves as a family and we care deeply about people. We want to inspire, help make their lives richer and more complete through our efforts. We believe that architecture is one of the most important art forms because of the impact it can have on the lives of those it touches. We’re delighted to have been recognized with over 150 awards for design excellence.
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