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10 Pitches We Had To Reject

A graveyard for wacky press releases

By Erin Meanley

Here at San Diego Magazine, we receive thousands of pitches from freelance writers, publicists, entrepreneurs, and total randoms. Below are just a few ideas we couldn’t use.


10 Pitches We Had To Reject

10 Pitches We Had To Reject

The pitch: Lingerie Innovator Not Afraid to Dream Little

Buried in a 600-word email about the founding of a bra business is this explanation: “Shing dreamed of creating her own lingerie line. As a petite woman on the hunt for the perfect petite bra, she found that nothing was affordable or unpadded.” Here’s to dreaming little!


10 Pitches We Had To Reject

10 Pitches We Had To Reject

The pitch: Volere’s ‘wine-in-purse’  [is] this year’s fun and delicious way to entertain.

In their June 2012 issue, Beverage Media called this purse a “game changer.” Indeed! Each bag color comes with a different kind of wine (Pinot Grigio, Rosé…), all for just $14.99.


10 Pitches We Had To Reject

Van Gogh Vodka

The pitch: Van Gogh Vodka launches PB&J-flavored vodka.

Now you can get an alcoholic buzz from a liquid that tastes like that good ol’ “American classic” ($27). I found this interesting: “Today, PB&J sandwiches are so ubiquitous that the average 25 year-old has already consumed at least 1,500 of them.” I hope no one keeps a bottle of this vodka in a house where kids live.


10 Pitches We Had To Reject

Golf Cigar Holder

The pitch: The Golf Cigar Holder is a clever golf accessory that provides an ideal place to lay your cigar while you make your shot to the green.

Get a load of this purple prose: “This stylish addition to golf bags is an elegant solution sure to be accepted by every golfer that wants to light up a stogie on the course.” You can also engrave it! $19.95


10 Pitches We Had To Reject

Old Dogs

The pitch: Senior Dogs Across America is now available for viewing.

Photographer Nancy LeVine traversed the U.S. shooting aged dogs. Pictured is Ratzoe, age 21, from Vashon Island, Wash.


10 Pitches We Had To Reject

10 Pitches We Had To Reject

The pitch: Mommy Kitty Cindy Takes a Bullet for Her Babies!

A publicist for a veterinarian tells us, “I have an incredibly touching story of a mommy kitty who literally took a BB bullet for her kittens. … A lovely example of the incredible bond between a mother and her children.” The best part is, one of the accompanying photos is of the actual bullet. WOW.


10 Pitches We Had To Reject

Pet Paint

The pitch: PetPaint is changing the way people celebrate with their furry loved ones.

Celebrate “with” your dog? I don’t think a dog sporting fur spray on his body is celebrating anything.


10 Pitches We Had To Reject

10 Pitches We Had To Reject

The pitch: Did Jesus Have a Cat?
and Other Observations from a Quirky Mind is now available.

64-year-old first-time author Connie Pursell has written a collection of stories using the fodder archived in her “quirky mind.” Unfortunately, after a certain number of these pitches, “quirky” just isn’t that cute. Sorry, Connie!


10 Pitches We Had To Reject


The pitch: You’re invited to a La-Z-Boy Cocktail Reception!

Two La-Z-Boy showrooms have opened in San Marcos and La Mesa. They hosted dual receptions, and I had to laugh at the idea of a party where no one mixes or mingles because they can’t get up from their chairs. I didn’t go see it for myself, though. I was too lazy.


10 Pitches We Had To Reject

Padres visit a Dodger’s fan

The pitch: Two Padres visit a Dodgers fan.

When San Diego Padres pitchers Ross Ohlendorf (left) and Joe Wieland dropped into the Naval Medical Center San Diego’s Combat and Polytrauma Care in-patient ward, they found Marine Sgt. Allan Michaels (and his wife) who forgot to change his shirt! (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication 1st Class Anastasia Puscian/ HIPAA Complete)

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