Ages: 41; 34
Occupations: Vice Chair of Anesthesiology at Alvarado Hospital Medical Center; Family Medicine Physician for Scripps Health
Neighborhood: Mission Hills
Dating Since: December 2006; married October 2009
Their Go-To Date
Amer and Samar take in plays and concerts at Spreckels Theatre
How did you meet?
S: Through my cousin, who came to Chicago in 2005 when I was at Northwestern. He came to meet me, but he also wanted to see his friend Amer, so Amer met us at this restaurant. Right?
A: Yeah, I wanted to hang out with him, but he said, “Oh, I have to spend this time with my cousin, too.” I’m like, “What?! Your cousin? I thought just you and I were hanging out!”
Tell us about your first date.
A: I picked her up, and we went to Hot Chocolate, this romantic place known for desserts. We had chemistry in our conversation. It made me want to get to know her better. That doesn’t always happen on the first date.
S: He takes me to a dessert bar and doesn’t tell me that he’s on the Atkins diet and not eating carbs! It was this amazing conversation, with ice cream melting in front of him.
A: I was just looking for a good place for conversation! I was less concerned with what I was going to order.
How’d you know it was the real deal?
S: That’s a controversial topic! He didn’t even introduce me as his girlfriend. It went from “friend” to “fiancée!” For me, it was very solidifying moving out to New York City, where he was living. I had just graduated, he was helping me find an apartment, getting me situated—he was investing his time and energy. It was a real relationship unfolding in this incredible city we were in together.
A: My family’s conservative, and to call someone “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” isn’t a part of the culture I grew up in. That’s why I wasn’t excited to use that terminology. I thought it was becoming more real at that point for sure, but truthfully, I didn’t know where it was going. She just graduated from college. I was in my residency. I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, but I also wasn’t against it. I was like, let’s see how it plays out. And obviously it played out well!
Go-to date spots?
S: We do a weekly date night. One of our favorites is an intro to hip-hop class at Culture Shock Dance Center. We’ve done the Tuesday night meditation at Pilgrimage of the Heart in Normal Heights. We’ve done a Dharma Bum meditation together. We’ve done plays, dance performances. Some nights, I just love cooking for him.
A: Sometimes we just take a walk in the neighborhood.
What’s the most romantic thing your partner has done for you?
A: Samar brought me a pocket book of Rumi poetry from my favorite translator. I felt like that was really special and a beautiful moment where I felt understood.
S: The number of times this guy has brought me flowers—I can’t even count. He brings them every week for special but unnecessary things. Any time he picks me up from the airport, there are flowers—even if I’m just coming back from a weekend in San Francisco! There are so many things he’ll do, but there’s a sweetness in that I love.