Day Three: Tuesday
Making New Friends
I’m up to seven matches on Bumble BFF. I send more greetings, offer ChatGPT–generated replies to my new friends.
Even with my slight trepidation at the start, I couldn’t have predicted how embarrassing this whole process would be—I would never, ever interact with humans this way on my own volition, and also my matches seem like cool people I would genuinely like to be friends with, so I regret that I don’t get to talk to them as my actual self.
I call my brother to complain about ChatGPT’s determination to make me sound like a loser. “You can ask it to write better answers, you know,” he says, living up, once again, to his reputation as the family tech wizard. “That’s why there’s a chat format. You can say, ‘That’s lame; can you change this part?’”When a message comes through from one of my Bumble BFF matches, the AI suggests I ask how her day is going (again), so I decide to try it out.
Planning My Outfits
I’m working remotely today, so I concede to one of StyleDNA’s less-sane outfit ideas. I typically only wear these shorts for Pride, but the app seems to love them—it’s come up with several outfits featuring them. It actually looks less ridiculous than I expected. I grew up a stone’s throw from Coachella, so, frankly, boots and cutoffs feel like home to me.
On a quick trip to the store, I’m briefly convinced everyone is staring at my silly outfit before I banish the mean middle-school girl in my head and remind myself that literally no one cares what I’m wearing in the dairy section of Vons.
Food Shopping & Meal Prep
I seriously underestimated the amount of yogurt I would need for this week. I run out at breakfast and have to build a grocery run into my day.
For lunch, I eat more curry stir fry and a depressing cucumber and tomato salad with “yogurt dressing.” I am already tired of stir fry. As I whip lemon juice and spices into a big scoop of plain Greek, I think longingly of the mac n’ cheese lurking in my freezer.
I’m relying on seasonings and condiments to punch up each dish a bit, but I miss cooking with flavorful ingredients like soy chorizo and parmesan.
Today’s plan calls for flexibility and mobility exercises. I’ve done yoga on and off for years, so the Yoga With Adrienne YouTube vid I pull up offers a much more fun and easy workout than the jogging and gym seshes of the past few days.
If I were ever to use ChatGPT to pivot to more strength training and gym-based workouts, I’d probably tell it I’m a beginner and ask for more specific instructions, with the hope of getting back something like “three sets of 10 for each: bicep curls, tricep extensions, and chest presses” rather than simply “dumbbell exercises.”
Curating a Music Playlist
I love the fact that Xavier announces the logic behind each of his chosen “vibes.” I’m a serial relistener, so even if I don’t always dig the theme (I’d rather not relive the summer of 2020, thanks), it’s fun to ease outside my usual playlists and experience old go-tos and new artists sandwiched between my current favorites.
Day Four: Wednesday
Making New Friends
I reply to a few more of the friends on my phone. This time, when ChatGPT repeats itself with a “How was your day?” question, it responds to my request for a different query with this, which makes me almost physically recoil with embarrassment:
I copy and paste the message into the chat box, close my eyes, and hit send.
Hours later, there’s still no reply to my “What makes you smile” message. Probably because ChatGPT’s replies are so (literally) robotic and unhinged, I haven’t gotten responses past the first few messages from anyone besides a woman named Courtney (not her real name), who sweetly tells me about her favorite plants and asks what I like to bake. I don’t bake, but ChatGPT tells her I’m a whiz at chocolate chip cookies and banana bread.
Planning My Outfits
I select my next outfit from the roundup of ideas StyleDNA offers. I love this look. It feels the most “me” of all the AI-generated ensembles so far—in fact, I’ve put together almost the exact same outfit before.
Food Shopping & Meal Prep | Exercise Plan
Breakfast today is honestly gorgeous. Pancakes! On a Wednesday! It feels like giving myself a gift on the cusp of a particularly busy workday.
In the afternoon, I snack on hummus and carrots. I’m hungry again pretty much instantly, so I heat up my prepped lunch: lentils, brown rice, and sauteed veggies. Then I bravely endure a meeting despite a lentil-induced stomachache.
Hours later, I’m starving after a busy evening of errands and chores, and I still haven’t done my workout or made my dinner. My stomach is barely recovered from earlier, so the last thing I want to do is eat more legumes and then also exercise.
Faced with this prospect, I break. Fold like a house of cards. I make a grilled cheese sandwich, a sweet and gentle food that has never, ever activated what is potentially undiagnosed IBS, and I go to bed.